New rules
Dear Cats and Dogs,
Is it cheating to make out with other girls? What if your boyfriend doesn't know? What if I were to make out with gay guys that are just friends of mine?
-Anna
This is one of those issues where I think it just comes down to a matter of opinion. My opinion being that you can totally make out with other chicks as long as you tell me about it…slowly. Or don't tell me. Honestly I don't care if you make out with other girls or go down on them or whatever. Just make sure they don't have any cold sores. Nobody uses those dental dams and I don't expect my girlfriend to subject herself to one either. Just don't sit on the bar and let a train of bull dykes eat ya out in front of everyone. There has to be some boundaries.
As for dudes you aren't allowed to kiss any of them other then your father. And hopefully you kiss him on the cheek.
You know what I'e noticed lately is there are these straight dudes out there that kiss "hello" on the lips with all their girl friends even when these chicks have boyfriends. Dudes have kissed girlfriends of mine in front of me! In front of their girlfriends too. How is this cool? What if I was some germ-a-phobe? What happens with Howie Mandell and his wife when this happens? Now I'm not a jealous guy at all and really I could give a shit, but it's the principal of it and the next guy that kisses my girlfriend on the lips is gonna get threatened. Of course then I'll have to be in one of those stupid fights where my girlfriend starts saying that I'm being chauvinistic and that it's no big deal. Well fuck it. I'm putting an end to it. At this point I would probably go as far as punching out a dude who kissed a friend of mine's girlfriend on the lips.
With gay guys it doesn't really bother me that much. But they need to be really gay. I'm talking pink triangle t-shirt, cock ring necklace, 1978 New York bath house before HIV Gay. Hitler Gay. Metrosexual doesn't count. I still think that word is gayer then Tom Cruise watching Brokeback Mountain though. Why not just kiss your gay buddy on the cheek? Act like he's your dad. But ya know gay.
So the new rules are Girls: Yes
Guys: No
Dads and Flaming Gay Guys: On the cheek
