Straight Up

Dear Cats and Dogs,

I am a 20 year old woman studying here in the states. I have been in this country for 2 years and I really love it. The problem is that I am originally from a Muslim country and when I go home I have to face the fact that I will be married to a man my family has chosen for me. I have comes to term with this a long time ago as it is part of my religion. The main reason I'm writing is that since being in the states I have lost my virginity. I have decided to have a hymen-plasty so that when I am married it will appear that I am still a virgin. This is very important in my country and if I ever want to have a relationship with my parents I must appear to be "pure." I don't really need any advice on this, but I just wanted to make your readers aware of what goes on with young Muslim women these days.

-Yentil

Now this is something I don't think about every day. Makes your boyfriend cheating on you seem like not such a big deal huh?

Now I profess to being a pretty smart guy and I have a feeling I know what you're describing here, but the fact remains that as hard as I pray and as many fake business cards as I print up I am not now and probably never will be a doctor.

So I decided to look this one up. The University of California describes Hymen Reconstructive Surgery as "the suturing of remnants of the torn hymen together, along with implanting a gelatin capsule containing a blood-like substance. A small section of the vaginal wall is dissected for the reconstruction when the hymeneal remnants are insufficient. The "blood" capsule will burst during intercourse and give the impression that the bride is a virgin."

In my version or virgin this blood capsule bursts at a party while everyone is drinking beer, but unfortunately my version never seems to happen in real life.

The irony of Hymen reconstructive surgery is that not all women bleed when they lose their virginity and as they age there is a natural thinning of the membranes that occurs. Sometimes hymens break through physical activity such as horseback riding. I am serious.

In the old days women who wanted to fool men into thinking they were virgins would just put a piece of raw liver up there. The idea being that it would feel much tighter for the man. Of course this led to a few mishaps. Many women woke up to a bedside note saying things such as "The sex last night was incredible, just went out for a pack of smokes, oh and by the way your pussy is in the sink."

Topic for the week: Do men in America expect to marry a virgin in this day and age?

I myself would prefer to never even have sex with a virgin. I don't think I could live with the guilt of being some poor girls first. As for marrying one, I think once anybody sees what they've been missing out on they are more likely to go out looking for someone else. Look at poor Nick Lachey. So like I always say or will from now on "Use it or Lose it."