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The Psychology of Architecture and The Berlin Pub Crawl

Filed under: Life — Hawkwind @ 08:17:25 am

I'm at the train station in Copenhagen right now. So far it's a beautiful expensive boring looking city. However I've yet to visit Chistiania which is the free part of town. Basically the free part means you can buy weed there. I guess it's like some old hippie village. The govt is trying to crack down on it so i gotta get this done before they run out of super skunk mind fuck em 69. You should see the crytals on this shit hmmmmmmmm crystals. I dont know if i said this before but i dont actually smoke dope. Sure if i have to inject whisky into my eyeballs to fuck some hot chick im down. But weed is for losers. Unless again your a hot chick. Anyway Copenhagen seems pretty mellow which for some reason I'm in the mood for.

Berlin on the other hand is fucked. I've never been to a more depressing place and thought to myself... cool. The history of course is why people visit, but people move there because it's so fucking weird and cheap to live there. You can ride your bike all over the whole city and see where hitler's bunker was where the wall used to be or where a bunch of gay german techno freaks are partying in an alley. Its got this really amazing lawless vibe to it as far as being able to see every inch of the city. anyway I wish i could describe it better. Its fucked.

Anyway I'm gonna tell this story backwards because it makes more sense with the tile of the column. Get it? Solid.

So one of the things they have in Berlin are these tours for young people that you can go on for free. I think you just have to tip the the tour guide or something. You can see all the sites learn about the cold war check out the jewish memorial or go on the tour that I took. On my tour you get these two assholes from Australia with bottle of Vodka and orange juice taking you and a bunch of other kids to all the bars in Berlin. Its your average pub crawl except that they give you free shots whenever you ask for them and most of the bars give you a free shot when you order a beer. They take you out til 4 or 5 in the morning or as long as you can take it and you visit 4 bars and 2 clubs.

I thought to myself when I read the ad that this would be perfect for research about male and female interaction or maybe even cooler I could get blacked out drunk.

I show up and of course the first thing I notice is that there are about 30 guys and about 10 women. God I hate guys. After we get walking the 2nd thing I notice is that Im the only american here. And then the third is how all of the stereotypes about people from outside the US are staring me directly in the face. Maybe its just the type of person that goes on a pub crawl maybe I just got lucky but I started laughing to myself about how ridiculous this whole thing was. You had your aformentioned aussie assholes, your english rugby hooligans, a russian chick who was eriously there looking for a husband, 4 hot danish girls that only talked with themselves, the dutch girl who usually only smokes weed and so now shes about to pass out at the first fuckin bar, some fuckin weirdo from Slovakia and then a Canadian chick.

The second bar we go to is where it gets good and I realize again that people are the same all over.

We sit down and the rugby hooligans make a beeline to this canadian girl. Shes really cute so I dont blame them. Im sitting near so I listen to the conversation without really interjecting. Research remember.

Through the conversation I realize she has a masters in art history and is debating with these dudes the Psychology of Architecture. First I think its really funny because I dont think that there is such a thing as the Psychology of Architecture. I know Im probably wrong but I dont care. The reality is that I know 2 things that these hooligans and this woman dont. First none of these dudes are gonna fuck her. They think they are so theyre talking about this fucking bullshit with her. They dont even understand the conversation and are sounding dumber and dumber with each shot. Its funny and pathetic to watch at the same time. It dudes is what it is.

This woman on the other hand doesnt realize that theyre only talking to her because they want to fuck her. You see it all the time where girls will talk to some dude for hours about their lives or how much they know about art or music or whatever. they think were actually interested in them as psople. The truth is that if we meet you on a pub crawl we do not care what the fuck you know as long as you let us have sex with you.

Anyway I later learned that this girl worked for the Pub Crawl so I gave her the benefit of the doubt because sometimes when your working you have to talk to stupid dudes. Ask any bartender about it.

And like I said I knew from the get go that none of these hooligans were gonna fuck her.

I knew for sure when we got to the next bar and she asked me to home with her.

Rulin it Danish style.

see ya next week

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