Straight Up

So when I post that I want my future girlfriend to die of cancer I get 125 comments but when the subject is about the hottest girls and guys in the world or where to get laid nobody seems to care. You dudes are sick.

Anyway at the moment Im in the airport in Lisbon. The reason being is that its a holiday in Portugal today. Nobody knows what holiday it is but they know that they have the day off of work. The problem for me is that I have to go all the way to the airport to get an internet connection as none of the Internet Cafes in town our open. The other problem with this is that it seems like everyday is a holiday in Lisbon. Whenever I try to go anywhere here they are always closed for the day.

So last night my friend and I are watching Portuguese TV and they have this show here called Felis o Unfelis or something along that spelling. Basically it means Faithful or UnFaithful. The premise is that they send a hooker to a guys house while his girlfriend or wife is away and they try to see if hell cheat on her. They film the whole thing hidden camera style and then play it back for the spouse in front of a live audience. Its kinda like that show in the states called Cheaters. I dont know how many of you have seen that one but it made some list for Best of Reality Show moments when the host of the show was actually stabbed by a jealous woman.

The difference with Faithful or UnFaithful is that they show the woman seducing a man by stripping in front of him and rubbing her body all over him. I dont speak Portuguese so I missed their introduction but thats not really the point. The point is the audience which mind you is filled with a bunch of old women are sitting there with bated breath for the big moment. That comes when the woman pulls down the mans pants to reveal his hard on. The audience shrieks with laughter and the host who kind looks like a gay Jay Leno runs over to the monitor and puts a broom over the mans penis. The next bit of the show is where the audience votes on whether or not the man will cheat on his spouse by fucking the hooker. The audience gets down on their knees and pray that he doesnt. Im not making this shit up. I forgot to tell you this whole time the scorned woman is standing in front of the audience screaming that the hooker is fat or that her husbands genitals are small. Again Im not making this shit up.

Basically my point is that Europe and the States are equally fucked. They really need to tone down the nudity and sex over here. Even cartoon frogs have dicks. And in the States we really need to tone down the violence. You get desensitized to both and I personally would like to be a little more excited about sex and a little less when it comes to violence.