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Straight Up



Filed under: Life — Hawkwind @ 02:11:53 am

I can't pronounce that word either. So I shot a commercial for an Italian clothing line today. Most of it was just running around with a tripod on my back. I had a bit part as the annoyed junkie walking out of the Roslyn Hotel. We had to switch rooms a couple times due to copious amounts of human fluids on the wall. My buddy Chad (the good looking one) was the lead of course but maybe I can cash in on some residuals down the line. Either way we had a good time in downtown LA freaking out the crack heads as we chased some poor bird up and down the street.

So here's a weird one for you. I had been dating this guy for 5 months
when he asked me to marry him. We were totally in love so I didn't
think twice when I said yes. On our wedding day 2 children showed up
who I had never seen before. He told me they were his kids from a
previous relationship. I literally froze. I could not believe what was
happening. After a couple hours I started to feel better and we went
through with the wedding. Am I insane? We have a great relationship,
But every once in awhile I wonder why he never bother to tell me
about the kids.

No, you aren't insane. Just easily manipulated. Look on the bright side.
Now is your chance to tell him that you are a transvestite, change your name
and get the hell out of the country. I bet if anything you are relieved that
he had a huge secret like that to reveal to you. People these days, they
assume that having kids isn't going to make a difference, so they wait until
the freaking wedding day to bring it up. You are left no choice but to say
yes at that point. If you didn't want to proceed with the wedding you would
come across as a cold hearted bitch for not accepting the children. He is
pretty good at what he does. If I were you, I would look into his police
records. He has probably robbed a couple banks and skipped bail more than a
few times. And the Hummer he drives you around in, it's stolen. Let's see
what Jed has to say about this.

Insane is not the right word for you. You're nuttier then a shit house rat. What are you thinking marrying some dude who kept his 2, count 'em two children from you? If I were you I would have immediately called off the wedding. If someone thought for an instance that you were "cold-hearted" I would tell them to go fuck themselves. When you enter into a marriage you're taking a vow to disclose any truths and information you have about yourself. What is the point of getting into a legal contract (which is really all that it is) without being able to fully trust someone. Like Lindsey says, "What else is he hiding from you?"

Unfortunately it's too late to run away and change your name. You've already made your bed and you're gonna have to lie in it. I hope you can sleep easy next to those two rugrats that you don't know from Adam.

We wanna hear what you all in TV land have to say about this so let us know about any crazy stories you have when it comes to finally bitin' that bullet and settling down.


  1. I'd have piffed him and his two kids outta there quicksmart.That's just low. Maybe, after you're preganant to him with his third kid, he might tell you he's got some genetic disease that missed his first two kids, but that the next one's likely to be serously deformed or something. I got duped big time once. A guy I was dating told me, after we'd been seeing each other a while, he had a friggin STD. LUCKY WE PRACTISED SAFE SEX AND LUCKY, after I booted him, I CHECKED OUT OKAY. I tell you, where do people get off?

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 04/25/06 @ 01:58

  2. "Hey Barb, just want you to know that I am HIV positive. I hope that doesn't change your feelings for me now that we have been dating for six months."

    "Oh sweety, have you been holding this in for that long? You could have told me sooner."

    "I know, I figured it wasn't that big of a deal."

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 04/25/06 @ 10:57

  3. They have herpes in Australia too?

    Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 04/25/06 @ 12:29

  4. herpes is going to wipe out our world

    Comment by Dick30 [Member] — 04/26/06 @ 20:01

  5. I'm no dr. but I don't think you can die from it

    Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 04/27/06 @ 11:00

  6. What is with STDs anyway? It's somehow all screwed up when the most natural, life-producing act can actually kill you. As if worrying about pregnancy wasn't enough. Now we need to have sex with plastic.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 04/27/06 @ 14:45

  7. I highly doubt you need a doctorate to realize what is going on around here, sex kills us. People are over dosing on sex. Look at what happens. We are going to all die. Sex is just another drug, as is music, as are drugs so, if you want to get rich and live a sensationally long life, go into the prescription pill business

    Comment by Dick30 [Member] — 04/27/06 @ 15:02

  8. Jed, you will get bored with the things you like. Which means you probably end up doing what I do and try to change the things you hate. But, it doesn't work. Bored is okay. It's okay. Would you rather be bored or unhappy? For instance, I had a pair of jeans I hated, so when I got bored, I started cutting up the jeans and painting nail polish on them trying to change them, I wore them once and threw them away. Yay! So, any man who sleeps with a bunch of women, hates women. He is jealous of them. (he is just trying to break and enter) Sorry, just my analogy.

    Men, your power is in your heart, not your penis. If you open up your heart, it wont be broken. Females don't break males hearts. They cant. You obviously let them. So, then that makes me worry about you even more. Wake up call time. Why do you want people to feel bad for you? Why? If I said I did, would you love me then? But, I thought you hated me? Oh, I get it. Well, if you give me the key, I will let you play with the lock. But, you wont be able to figure it out. You need the key to figure out the lock. So, if you give me the key, you will never figure me out....but, how can you use the key without giving it to me? In conclusion, if you want to figure out a lock, you can't use the key. The key is the easy way out. Or in? That's kind of scary too. I hope that wasn't too gay.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 04/27/06 @ 16:35

  9. Is this part of our discussion about the superiority of men vs. women or are you on a whole nother trip now?

    Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 04/28/06 @ 20:03

  10. I personally agree with Linzalicious men needs to open their hearts up to woman more ! If men would show their sensitive side even just a little bit they would find a nice long relationship alot easier. Men need to learn to show there sensitives side & be honest about everything right from the start, then no one will get hurt in the long run. Also to respond to Dick30 no disrespect but AIDS is one of the worlds most deadliest sexually transmitted disease killing millions of people. It sucks but it's the truth. And yes it sucks that we need to sleep with rubber but we all have the choice do we want to be safe & live longer or not ? I choose to live, my saying is to better to be safe than sorry. Take care Hawkwind & Linzalicious & Dick30

    Comment by 33butterfly [Member] — 04/28/06 @ 22:42

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