Straight Up

Well after 6 weeks away Im back in Seattle. It actually doesnt feel very weird to be back but maybe it just hasnt hit me yet. Anyway I dont really have anything interesting to say about being back so I’ll just move on.

We were supposed to debut my column with Lindsey today but we ended up having a little delay in setting up the site to format the column blah blah blah. Im seriously like the worst person when it comes to understanding computers or technology or whatever. The thing is that Im super smart. I just dont really care. This ends up being a problem when I spend six weeks in Europe trying to figure out how to make a call on my cell phone and then realizing later that I need a special sim card for each country and blah blah blah… see I lost interest already.

So since we cant put up the real column this week and since Lindsey and I have never met each other up to this point I decided that we would interview each other just so we could all get to know each other better. I hope to that you guys will send in some more questions for us that we can answer here or in next week’s column.

Anyway the questions are below. The most interesting thing I got out of it was that as a typical woman Lindsey had 3 times as many questions as I did. Usually dudes just ask enough to get laid.

My answers are first.

How old are you? 25

Where do you live? Seattle Washington. Ive been in town for six years
and
have lived all over the city. Now I live in West Seattle, but I'm
answering
this question from London where Im currently shacked up with 3 Swedish
chicks in a hostel. It sounds way cooler then it is.

What would you be doing if you were stuck at home for three hours all by
yourself? Reading cook books and car magazines, writing, and watching
TV.

Where would one most likely find you on a Friday night? Almost always
with
either of my two best dudes. We would be at the Sloop Tavern in Ballard
where
32 oz beers are 3.75. Don’t let anybody else know that.

What were you like in High School? I was a lot of things in high school.
I
started out playing baseball and football. Kind of a jock, but without
that
mentality. I really liked sports and was quite good at them. Then I
started
smoking dope and quit to play in bands. I wasn't a nerd or anything but
I
didn't have many girlfriends. I was voted class clown at the end of 8th
grade and again at the end of senior year. I didn't even go to that
school
senior year. I mean I went to a different school. I'm fuckin funny.

If a guy told you that you were hot, how would you respond? Thats
happened a lot of times. It doesn't bother me at all. Read my column
this
week. Usually I just say thanks and if I think the dude is good looking
I’ll
tell him. Then I’ll tell him that if I could be reincarnated I'd want to
come back as a woman's bicycle seat.

What kind of women do you date? Mostly girls that are into music. Rock
and
roll is probably my favorite thing in the world so if chicks like good
music
like classic rock then I’m usually attracted to them. Also they are
older then me. Usually a lot older, but now that I'm 25 they are
starting to
be around the same age. I like fucking all of them though.

What do you usually wear? Usually jeans and a t-shirt and converse or
Clarks. I really have a weird obsession with fashion though. I’m not
into
dressing up or putting shit in my hair, but I really dig clothes. My mom
has
always kept up on fashion so I would always read her vogue magazines
when I
was little. I really wish I could figure out what kind of style I dig
though. I can't ever seem to decide so I just keep it simple. I love it
when
chicks are really into clothes and shopping. For some reason I always end
up
with girls that dress down though.

Do you shave any of your body hair? Never
who is your favorite actress and why? Uma Thurman. Why? C’mon

do you masturbate to this person or is it a totally different situation?
naw I always masturbate to chicks that I think I could actually nail in
real
life. Like porno chicks or like ugly chicks or chicks from high school.
Or
ugly chicks that taught at my high school. Usually I just watch porno
though.
Who is your favorite talk show host and why? Conan cause they all pretty
much suck

Do you masturbate to this person or is it a totally different situation?
naw he's a dude.
Why are you a perfect candidate for giving advice on dating, sex and
perhaps, love? Well first I'm really smart and good looking. I’d have to
say my second best quality is my modesty.

I've dated a lot of girls and I’ve been in love a few times. People tell
me
I’m really sensitive too. I don't know I think I’m just your average guy
that says what most guys feel, but for some reason they don't ever say it.
Maybe that's true. I don't know. Who else you got for the job?

And now Lindsey. Seriously if I knew she liked Alice in Chains she would have never got this Job.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 25, born in San Diego, raised in Iowa till I was seven then moved to a
small town outside of Olympia, Washington.

Where do you live now?

I live in this really awesome city called Seattle, more specifically,
Ballard. Is a little Scandanavian community with lots of fishermen, coffee
shops and dive bars.

What is the most important thing you've learned if anything about dating?

Not only can looks be deceiving, but so can first impressions. Men and
women seem to operate
very differently so it’s hard to find someone on the same page as you.
Something always seems
to be missing, but when you do find it its golden! Oh, and if you do want
the gold, definitely don’t go looking. That’s the different between love and
treasure......You have to hunt for treasure. Love seems to run away from
those who are searching.

What do you think is the biggest difference between men and women?

Other than physical body parts, the fact that men are truly driven by sex.
Yea, they might like to come across as intellectual, creative and open
minded, but deep down, they are thinking sex. Women are operated by many
different mechanisms......some women might like to come across as just
wanting sex, but deep down??? I don’t think so. Feel free to disagree
however.

If you could fuck one dude who would that be? Please don't say Will Smith.
That dude sucks.

Making love is way better, but......... Cole Hauser, from the movie
Paparazzi, he is extremely hot........

Do you think about this guy while masturbating or is it a completely
different scenario?

Perhaps, tomorrow when you wake up, you will have found the answer to this
question in your dreams!!!!!!! But, just so you don’t think I am a prude,
no, not him. Sorry mom!!! I feel so guilty.

Who is your favorite band or musician of all time?

It’s a toss up!!! I am in love with James Taylor, but I would die for Alice
in Chains.

Finally what makes you qualified to give advice on sex and dating?

A degree in Society, Ethics and Human Behavior? Probably not though seeming as
I skipped a lot. I think the fact that I have been close to a lot of
interesting and different men and women in general. My life has had its ups
and downs, nothing has been easy, I haven’t been handed everything on a
plate. I also like to listen to people and find myself somewhat open-minded,
if not extremely. Just so you know, I am always up for constructive
criticism or intellectual sparring, I love that shit. But, I am gullible, so
you can’t mess with me. If you decide to then I will have to suspend your
account up to a maximum penalty of 30 days depending on the severity of your
actions. Three strike system. I always hated cops.

So there you go. If you have any specific questions feel free to contact Lindsey and i via the website or just post right here. We'll be answering questions and doing the blog quite regularly now. Also there will be a bunch more lifestyle blogs coming up so check back often to see what's new. Thanks.