KZalan's Blog - Bird on Fire

11/28/05

Bird on Fire

Filed under: Posts — KZalan @ 06:04:07 pm

Belated Turkey Day to everyone. An interesting thing happened this year. My first Thanksgiving away from family in which my friends and I decided instead of making reservations and getting rip roaring drunk we would attempt to create our own dinner. I'm known amongst my friends to be a decent cook but a sudden ailment prevented me from participating. So, I trusted my friends to take on the responsibility of the preparation. What was supposed to be a meaningful gathering turned into a disastrous fiasco. Within 30 minutes, we sent our first friend off to the ER for what we later learned was food poisoning, possibly from a can she licked but later confessed. Then there were 9. An hour later we sent two people off to do a last minute run for eggs. They met with an unfortunate car accident. Nothing serious. Then there were 7. Few glasses of wine later, a couple began fighting over Holiday plans. They decided to leave. Then there were 5. About 3 hours into the whole thing, the smell of something burning evades the air. Mysteriously our turkey caught on fire. The 3 people in charge of the turkey bickered over whose fault it was. It was an unhappy thanksgiving.

So we pondered over our unappetizing display of burned turkey and uncooked fixins and decided there was only one thing to do. Make reservations and get rip roaring drunk. Even in my sick state, I was all for the idea. We went to the Grove and had dinner at La Piazza and laughed about everything that happened. After that we continued our drinking parade at the Whisper Lounge. By the end of the night we were having a Happier Thanksgiving and as we downed more and more shots it became even happier. In the end, I was thankful for the bird on fire. If it wasn't for that, I might have had a not so happy thanksgiving. We must have been wasted out of our minds because later that night, we went back and ate our Thanksgiving dinner. Thanks to the alcohol, it didn't taste so bad.

15 comments

Comments

Heh, heh, reminds me of a scene from Bridget Jones' Diary - by the time her guests get to the door, everything's gone so wrong she feels like tellin' them to f off rather than feed them. I reckon entertaining is your own home give you the raw end of the deal. You've done all the work usually, and unless you've planned a really easy dinner, you're running around half the night doing stuff while everyon'e having a good time - maybe 'cos I tend to be a bit of a maniac when it comes to food - it all has to be exquisite and perfect. many years in the industry does that too you.

Still, sounds like you had a great night after all which is the main thing. What is with alcohol and eating crap? As if we haven't already put our system into shock with the booze, we then go and eat anything that's dead on top of it!
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/28/05 @ 21:06
I want to know what happened to the chick who licked the can......that is funny!!!! What kind of can did she lick? Was it raw tuna? That sounds gross huh. Why would you have tuna on Thanksgiving anyways? My bad.
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/29/05 @ 14:05
Hi Juji. I know my story sounds completely ridiculous because it is practically all made up! You see as you know, and I revealed last week I get paid to write this crap. I am a very good liar and that is why that guy Scott is so pissed at me. I can lie even better in person and over the phone. Anyway I dropped my "ideal match" description in my profile. I was too dumb to realize that it might not be a good idea to have it in there since I already live with my perfect match here in Hollywood. I need to appeal to a big audience though I'm not actually interested in being contacted by anyone unless it is for a job of course. I was a singer/songwriter now I'm just 'freelance'. Ciao! and Aloha!
Comment by KZalan [Visitor] — 11/29/05 @ 14:21
Scott, you had me there for a minute. I was like, what the fuck is she writing? Dude, Kzalan, just let him do his thing. Its actually kind of funny. I promise not to hold you to any of it. But you have to promise that you will take me to Hawaii next time you go, that place looked fucking awesome. I am jealous.

Dude, Scott, please dont fuck with the visitor thing, otherwise, it will get turned off and then no other weirdos will be able to make comments as good as yours......and believe me, we are all weirdos in this world......Some people just complain about them and then authority has to take action....its all in good faith right? Make a profile. Obviously things just didnt work out.
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/29/05 @ 16:54
Yeah, I know I'm good... better than the real thing. You are the only one who gets it because dumb dumb sure doesn't. Anyway no one reads this shit anyway. And the few literate people who do... don't care.
Comment by KZalan [Visitor] — 11/30/05 @ 04:38
Holy Shit!... What am I doing? I'm more fucked up than Scott.
Comment by Lisa Lang [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 00:25
NO...............You.............................ARENT..........................SCOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT..........
Comment by linzalicious [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 03:45
Ha!...Take that! You tell 'em Linz.
Comment by Lisa Lang [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 08:39
Good Morning everyone. I would write this pathetic dribble on my blog but I don't have one. I have put in a call to Dr. Phil... He is putting me on an up coming show called 'Thanksgivings Gone Wrong!"
Comment by Scott [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 10:18
Thanks but no thanks. alex2468.... I do like your work. Particularly your "yikes" comment which unfortunately was deleted some time ago.
Comment by Scott [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 20:16
Scott officially has multiple personalities now...I like to blog anonymously so my wife doesn't find out I am stalking people online.
Comment by Scott [Visitor] — 12/01/05 @ 21:31
I am not laughing.
Comment by linzalicious [Visitor] — 12/02/05 @ 02:27
Linz, you finally got smart enough to be me! I think it is motherfucking hysterical... And I enjoy you "stalking" me. HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD!!!
Comment by Mr. Fantastic! [Visitor] — 12/02/05 @ 10:34
Mahalo!... You asshole! (Not you Linz).
Comment by Mr. Fantastic! [Visitor] — 12/02/05 @ 10:51
I wish I did make it all up, maybe then it would be really entertaining but sadly no I didn't make it up you A HOLE. By the way my friend licked a cream of mushroom can. Gross. I don't think I'll ever have that again.
Comment by KZalan [Member] — 12/04/05 @ 22:07

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