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Juji's Blog


Straight and Soft For Baby - Making?

Filed under: Posts — Juji @ 07:44:41 pm

In the never-ending study of what attracts men and women to each other, a US study has decided there are certain male physical attributes that mean a dude's gonna make good daddy material. Firstly, he's gotta have a symmetrical face - well that goes without saying 'cos no kid's gonna want a daddy with a lopsided, Elephant-man like mush cheering him on and dribbling hot-dog sauce at the baseball. He's also gotta have a straight, well-placed nose. Ditto to wet, unsightly dribbling at baseball! Also, noses residing in the ear, knee or navel region make for such difficult respiration, he'd smother, suffocate and probably die during foreplay well before he came, and his unejaculated seed would be buried along with him to decay in the bowels of the earth. Of course, if children sprouted from the ground (there's a nice, pain-fee idea), maybe he'd have a chance. It goes without saying he's gotta have a straight dick so the sperm don't end up under our right armpit.

He's also expected to have large, deep, expressive eyes and a soft jaw. You realise, don't you, we're ruling out half the guys on the planet! Yep, the primary producers have to look like no other than Jude Law. So, if per chance you don't, you may as well go and book yourself in for a vasectomy right now. Go on. Grab the phone. What are you waiting for?

In case you haven't noticed, studies like this give me the utter shits. They make people feel inadequate and they're based on crap! They showed a bunch of women a bunch of photos and asked them to rate them according to whether THEY THOUGHT the dudes would make good dads, etc. What they didn't bother to do is follow these 'perfect specimens' for the next 30 years or so to see whether any of them actually won Father Of The Year. I reckon there are heaps of guys with straight faces and noses, deep eyes, yada, yada, yada, in prison doin' time for murder, rape and paedophilia, not to mention all the soft jaws chewin' out the neighbour's pussy in a sordid affair. Anyone who's had their heart broken knows that an early attraction means shit! They also know that initial dreams and expectations often don't pan out.

And speaking of jaws, the study recokns us women are particularly attracted to a stronger jaw when we're at our most fertile time of the month. Let me assure you, this has nothing to do with future babies. It's simply 'cos we're needing a good strong jaw with octopus-like suction fixed to our vaginas lapping up all the extra juices we make while we're ovulating! If they'd have bothered to include me in the study, I would've told them so, and requested some strong-jawed candidates for an informative role play! Juji x

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