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Jennifer

04/25/06

Filed under: Posts — JPatt @ 10:39:34 pm

So I ran into my old KappaSig crush who we will call "Max" this past weekend. (Long story short, we hooked up some, I wanted him for about a year, and he thought I was pyschotic.) My boyfriend Cape had already left the party to go pass out, so I forced my guyfriend Jim to put his arm around me and cart me out onto the balcony to escape the awkwardness. Seeing Max reminded me of all these awful fratty times of objectification and, ultimately, rejection.

Luckily I wasn't a complete pansy. I gathered myself together after a few Shiners, and I ended up having a heart-to-heart with Jim, who I sometimes think wants to fuck me but whatever.

Drunk and emotional, we started talking about love and how Jim was all super in love with his ex girlfriend. Having never fallen in love with anyone, I asked, "Is falling in love like an orgasm, you know-- where if you're not sure you have had one... then, clearly, you haven't?"

Jim couldn't answer me, because he said none of his orgasms were ever very iffy since he doesn't have a vagina. Then we started talking about vaginas. Then we started talking about my vagina, and I got uncomfortable and left.

Oh and apparently I passed out completely naked on my boyfriend's bed with the door open. His roommate saw. How awesome am I?

04/17/06

Filed under: Posts — JPatt @ 06:34:53 pm

Jesus Christ, this month has been hectic. My bestie Bennett drove home for Easter to see her long-distance lover boy Blake... only to find out that he has an official girlfriend (and, no, it is not her.) Fucking PhiPsis, how typical. My friend Bianca and I have been trading off s.w. (suicide watch) and bringing Bennett loads of alcohol and cookies. Alcohol and cookies: they solve everything.

I finally think I figured out where I'm living come this next semester, meaning I don't have to resort to living in the sorority house. God, I can't imagine all the trouble I'd get into if I lived in the sorority house seeing as my main hobbies are 1)drugs, 2)sex, and 3)alcohol. Let's just say none of them go over to well in the confines of a sorority house.

Luckily I found a cute house to share with this Asian/Italian named Christine who likes to cook things. Delicious things.


The house of drugs, sex, and alcohol

That is my boyfriend Cape standing at the front door. He is an integral part of hobby #2.

I won't even tell you what I'm paying for this 1930's bungalow, because you'll probably shoot yourself in the face in a fit of jealousy.

04/05/06

Filed under: Posts — JPatt @ 04:14:12 pm

Believe it or not, my sorority's morning recruitment workshop this weekend wasn't bad. This is probably because I was still drunk. Yesssss. As silly as it sounds, I'm kindof getting excited about rush. And pref night. Although everyone in my entire pledge class is dating a frat boy, I think there's a lot to be said for southern chivalry. And just plain manners. Ooooooooooooh I wanna buy a sparkly new dress.

Walking out of Italian class (which I just changed to pass/fail because my Spanish background is KILLING me with definite articles) I spotted a couple walking in matching striped shirts!

Well, maybe they weren't a couple. Maybe they didn't even know each other. Still, fuuuuunny funny funny! People that match make me giggle.

It got me thinking... I should TOTALLY add that to my child-rearing tips: Insist on matching mother-daughter dresses daily.

I wouldn't dress myself like a little kid though because that's just embarrassing. Instead, I'd dress my two year old daughter like me-- you know, in a betsey johnson dress or a going-to-work pant suit. A mini pantsuit! For a toddler! Awwwwwww cute! I bet that would be sooo uncomfortable for a waddling lil' youngin. Do they even make mini pantsuits? If not, I would have my housekeeper make one. Hahahahaha. Babies in pantsuits. Hahahahaha

Hey... if you're happy and you know it take a nap. (That was my cue.)

LATER!

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