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Is Sex Necessary?

Filed under: Posts — Juji @ 06:12:07 pm

Call them partner, call them boy/girlfriend, call them "other half" (but please don't, as it implies you're some sort of half-person/mutant/limited individual), but what defines a boyfriend? Can it be possible to have all the normal elements bar the sex and still have a relationship? Take for instance this dude I've been nuts over for way too long. We've got everything a perfect relationship needs - except the sex and the official title.

What do you make of it?


- He'll bend over backwards to help me when needed (but not in the bedroom)
- He can tell me he finds me very attractive (but hasn't seen me naked)
- He reckons I'm the most stimulating person he knows and that he loves talking to me (wait till he hears my sex talk)
- He admires and respects me (but doesn't want to have sex with me)
- We go out and have an absolute ball together.
- My friends describe us as two peas in a pod and say it's just so obvious and it's just a matter of time (it's been yonkers)
- He knows me inside out (well, not all of my insides) and reminds me when I'm off track and not heading where I need to head. I do the same for him.
- When we get together, by phone or in person, conversations run for hours and hours until the crack of dawn.
- He's artistic, creative and broadminded - like me.


- He doesn't want a relationship (WTF!!!!) as his previous ones have been disastrous. What he can't see is that we're already having one, without the sex. He's into sex and no, he's not gay. In the words of stupid, Australian ex-politician, Pauline Hansen who landed herself in jail, Please Explain.

In case you didn't notice, there are heaps more pros than cons. Trouble is, the one, solitary, little lonely con is the powerful beast that pisses the pros off into oblivion.

Should people be so damn nice when they don't want to follow through with the whole package? Can a 'relationship' be so good it doesn't need the sex? (You'll have trouble convincing me of that one!). Does a placebo boyfriend or girlfriend close us off from other opportunities so we end up missing out on the whole kit 'n' kabooble? Questions, Questions. Questions.

With all the weird 'n' wacky relationships going on on our planet, what are the essential ingredients for a relationship?


  1. leave me hanging in limbo.
    Do you think I should make a move on him?
    I'm seeing him tonight.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 06/02/06 @ 18:00

  2. yes, have sex with him.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 06/02/06 @ 18:46

  3. Okay, so I went out all geared up to satisfy the women in me. I even put condoms in by back pocket, thinking if they were there under my arse as a reminder, I wouldn't simply slide into friendship mode as I usually do, but the wrinkle-crinkly of the wrapper was going to catapult me into freeing my sexual goddess - or that was where I was at when I headed off. We grabbed a pizza and a movie. Who the hell could concentrate on the biblical and spiritual implications of the Friggin' Da Vinvi Code when every cell, hormone and iota of my body just wanted to wrap myself around every cell, hormone and iota of his. Naturally, the chick at the box office said, we've only got two tickets left - in the back seat! I couldn'ta cared less whether Jeses fucked Mary M way backed when and had a child. I wanted to fuck him (not Jesus)now. Anyhow, I agonised through the movie in utter yearning, we then went back to his where we talked and talked and talked, and he played me the guitar and sang for hours. At 4am, I left, crinkled condoms untouched in back pocket, got home and threw them out, cos I probably wore holes in them sitting on top of them for 8 1/2 hours. Conclusion: You can only make a move on someone if you feel strong enough to handle a rejection. Would he reject it??? Don't know. While he says he's not into having a relationship, he hasn't said he's not into having sex. Today, a beautiful sunny Sunday, please think of me as I climb the walls.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 06/03/06 @ 20:19

  4. well, I think he knows you like, he can pretend like he doesnt know, but he does. Can you hang out with him even if you dont have sex? If you cant hang out with him without sex then you will have to make the move if he doenst.....unless you can handle it...but it sounds to me like you cant even sit through a movie without wanting to jump his bones. that will just drive you crazy.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 06/04/06 @ 02:17

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