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Juji's Blog


Get Outta My Space!

Filed under: Posts — Juji @ 01:24:22 am

Personal space. We all have it to varying degrees and the exact amount we need often depends on cultural factors and our own life experiences. When I'm about to blast someone's head off for breathing over my shoulder at the supermarket, I refrain when I realise that it's someone probably from a very crowded country where it's considered okay to stand within an ant's dick of a total stranger.

The family I came across this weekend doesn't fall into that category though. They were Aussies through and through. I was at the beach for the weekend and get a bit thingy about my personal space on the sand. That's 'cos the area between the red and yellow flags (do you have them? Where the lifeguards patrol?) gets really, really packed, and I like to kinda get into my own headspace reading, writing, listening to music, and pondering my navel without hearing mums yell at their kids and listening to people talk general crap about general bullshit. (I could pretend I'm a super hot swimmer who knows the surf and conditions well enough to not have to swim between the flags - it's certainly much cooler. But I ain't. If I got caught in a rip, I'd scream, swallow mouthfuls of water and undoubtedly die a very wet death). Anyhow, I spread my gear out really wide. Between towel, boogie board, chair, small esky and other general crap, I can take up a fair bit of space. I then left it all there and went for a walk. On my return, some family of forty thousand had set up their gear right in front of mine about two inches from the foot of my towel. Slow breathing so I didn't start hyperventilating, I decided I wasn't gonna move, so I planted my butt on the towel, and took a long leisurely lie down - so my feet were just about in their face. They gave me strange looks and started glancing at each other as though I'd invaded their space, and I remained as nonchalant as ever. Given they were lying on their stomachs, their direct line of view was me. I even parted my legs slightly to make them feel even more uncomfortable. Get a look at that, you lack-of-personal-space-awareness-freaks! I stubborned it out for a while but did end up moving later. I prefer to look at the waves rolling in and see who's catching what, rather than become a temporary member of someone else's family. One family's bullshit is enough.

When I went to Brazil, it was very okay to say hi to just about anyone, have a chat in an elevator and so on. At first, being the somewhat restrained Aussie I was the, it unnerved me, then I got used to it and slipped right into the friendly vibe. If you say g'day to someone in Oz, unless it's in a bar or club, people look at you strange as though you're gonna kill them or something. Where I actually walked when I left my gear spread all over the sand at the beach was a few k's along the beach. As luck would have it, there was a dead seal with its head bitten off lying there. I pondered a while about why a shark would bite a seal's head off and leave the rest intact? Did he see amore attractive seal comin' in on the next wave? Did the first seal taste bad? Did the shark die of food poisoning? Did a bigger shark come and bite the first shark's head off? But all that's a whole other story. Anyhow this chick took a look at the dead seal and started to walk away looking pretty upset. I said to her in a friendly, nice way, "Maybe you shouldnt'a looked". She looked at me like I was an alien from Mars about to abduct her in some spaceship I had parked amongst the sand dunes. Like all I was doin' was being kinda nice and sharing a human-to-human moment in the sombre face of death, and she looked more scared of me than the bloody headless seal all abuzz with flies. I tell you!

Everything I've written above about needing social space can be null and voided in the event you're a very cute, hot guy. I don't mind if you sit two inches from my towel, I don't mind if you sit on my towel. Come to think of it, I don't mind if you sit on me.

What sort of personal space rules apply where you live? And what's the worst space invasion you've ever experienced?
Juji x


  1. When I lived in Switzerland they definitely do not understand the meaning of "personal space". People people you out of the way without saying excuse me. If a guy wants to chat you up he literally sits one inch from your face speaking to you. Last but not least, if a guy thinks your cute they stare and point. Weird yes...true yes...otherwise it is quite beautiful.

    Comment by nwgirl38 [Member] — 03/13/06 @ 23:11

  2. I kinda like the idea of flirting being so in your face, so to speak. It's fun, cheeky and flattering. When I was at a samba party in Brazil, it was very okay for guys and gals to be really quite forward. While they are in Oz too, it's usually alcohol induced and can be a bit sleazy at bars and clubs. At the Brazil club, this cute black dude with really big lips took a fancy to me and planted a soft, mushy kiss on my neck as I went by. It was done in such a friendly, relaxed and non sleazy way, I thought it was great.

    Comment by Juji [Visitor] — 03/14/06 @ 02:41

  3. BTW, I'm having trouble signing in for some strange reason, so while Frendsation is deciding to keep me at Visitor status at the mo, please rest assured tis me.

    Comment by Juji [Visitor] — 03/14/06 @ 02:44

  4. I used to know this guy who would say, "I dont want anyone in my bubble". And it was a total turn off.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 03/14/06 @ 12:56

  5. Yuk...Reminds me of the obnoxious Boy in the Seinfeld Bubble. This guy's got issues. Sure, we all need a certain amount of space, but given he invented his own saying for it, I reckon he's weird. Glad you 'used to know him'.

    Comment by Juji [Visitor] — 03/14/06 @ 18:42

  6. yea, you are funny....have you ever seen the movie Bubbleboy, or Bubble man about the boy who has an overbearing mother and has to live in a bubble? It's the guy from Donnie Darko...

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 03/15/06 @ 00:13

  7. yea, you are funny....have you ever seen the movie Bubbleboy, or Bubble man about the boy who has an overbearing mother and has to live in a bubble? It's the guy from Donnie Darko...

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 03/15/06 @ 00:14

  8. No, but if I had an overbearing mother, I'd be wanting to live in a bubble too.
    So we had the Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony last night. Yah, a once in a lifetime opportunity, yeah I shoulda gone, yeah it's good to get into it and be an Aussie and all that, but to be quite honest, the tickets cost an arm and a leg, the ceremonial crap and sucking up the queen makes me gag, and I had a yoga/meditaion class to do - which I'm sure did me a whole lot more good than going to the ceremony. I caught the end of it on tv and the fireworks did look spectacular. Also, some of the athletes are very cute! Anyone else have any thoughts on it? I'm steering clear of town (driving at least), but will head in by public transport to catch a few super cool music acts they've got on. I reckon these two weeks shoulda been declared a public hol so we can get round to all that's on.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 03/15/06 @ 13:59

  9. It's nice to be a Member again - makes me feel all warm n cosy - which is helped by the fact that Melbourne's turned on the cold, wet weather, yeah, just in time for the games, and I'm snuggled up inside with a cup a tea.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 03/15/06 @ 14:01

  10. On the subject of space, I was reading an article on having sex on small spaces - okay, so I was bored (which is a pretty rare occurance for me). It read:

    "Be ready for turbulence. The safest positions involve one partner sitting on the closed toilet seat. Then, in the event of bumpy air, neither partner will be to close to the ceiling, risking a concussion."

    While that all makes very good sense, and they suggested doing it while the movie's on so less people are going to the loo, what they failed to mention was that the turbulence was probably going to make the whole experience all the better? Don't you think? I mean, how exciting, you're in the middle of it and combined with the sex ecstasy you have this Oh-my-God-I'm-gonna-die excitement and wild movement going on. I personally couldn't think of a better way to go. Would you have sex in an aeroplane loo, or in an elevator for that matter? The elevator worries me a bit - Is there time? Can you hit have your arse leaning up against the Close Doors button or what?

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 03/17/06 @ 18:27

  11. its called joining the "Mile High Club" I am not currently a member. Yet.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 03/17/06 @ 18:38

  12. How very cool. I'm on the waiting list too. It'd be probably somewhat more exciting with a stranger - more risque. Imagine, you exchange knowing looks across the aisle, you meet in the loo, get it on, and return to your seats with your little secret that no one else knows. You exchange that look saying, "Yeah, ain't we great. We got a great little secret". A couple of hours pass, you exchange that look again and meet again in the loo. And so on. What a cycle. Hope it's a loooong flight!

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 03/19/06 @ 01:48

  13. Hm... generally I agree with you, but I wonder what our readers would tell.

    Comment by Quickie [Visitor] — 04/06/08 @ 14:24

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