Juji's Blog

Okay, so some folks with little else to spend their time and money on have just carried out a study on bat's balls and brains. Yeah...I ask you. Basically, they found that the bigger the balls, the smaller the brain and vice versa. If the findings apply to humans (and I dunno they do given we usually don't hang upside down in trees, it could explain a lot about the male species. Kind of grounds the expression Dumb Fucker in science. Apparently, there's a biological trade-off between brains and sperm. We already knew men are a bit limited, but this seems to confirm there's only so much good stuff to go round. They can't have both. Given the choice, which would you choose? A guy whose fertilisation capabilites were high, or one who could talk to you very intellectually about it?

A guy I 'know' definitely proves the theory right. His massive scrotum was accompanied by a pea-sized brain. To illustrate, once, in the throws of passion (or so at least I thought we were), he said, "I gotta pick up some spuds for tonight's roast lamb on the way home". Okay, so having sex with me reminds guys of spuds (potatoes)? Is that good? Is it fucked? He then confirmed his minuscule brain size when we were trying to talk about books, and he said, "I nearly finished reading a book - once." From that point, I decided sex in utter silence was the only way to go.

A little research on the topic uncovered a guy with gigantic, elephant-sized balls, who used to delight in dropping them into the hole in front of you when playing pool. This further proves the theory right, 'cos only a dumb-arse would unleash enormous, hairy testicles on a poor, unsuspecting public.

And what about chicks? Is there a possible relationship between brains and boob-size? Given I was lucky enough to get both (but I did want to be two inches taller), that must mean the theory only applies to men, and women are without such biological limitations.

Do you know of anyone with no brains and no balls? (Possibly a mutant). Or more balls than brains? And what about penis size compared to brain size (gives Dickhead a whole new meaning)? Feel no pressure to limit the discussion to scrotums - they ain't that pretty. Juji x