A Matter of Trust
Even though I've only been a member of this site for a few days my mind has been blown by what I've read, mainly in Jed's blogs.
Perhaps I'm just old fashioned, but doesn't anyone else believe in equal partnerships?
Anal sex should only be performed with someone you trust completely? I guess this means it's fine to do everything else with someone you don't trust--just don't let him or her stick something in your behind!
So much talk about dominance and submission (does anyone remember that old Blue Oyster Cult song, or did it come out before you were all born?).
Some people seem to find it gratifying to allow someone to dominate them--that's fine, I actually ended up being married to someone that didn't bother telling me about his fascination with BDSM--torture, in particular--because he "was afraid I wouldn't move in with him". Ya think?
Hey, it had seemed like love and I thought he really wanted me, so I bought some books, surfed the net and encouraged him to talk about his "hobby" so that I could possibly understand him and his wants and needs more, but this lack of communication ended up being a symptom of much deeper problems and secrets.
We remained friends and lived together platonically for about three years. No big deal.
Am I the only one around who still wants to be in a relationship with someone who's my equal? Where we take turns being in charge and share our burden. Where sex is all about mutual gratification and not just one person (playing the role of "male") being in control of the other.
I know from talking to friends that most women, at least, don't enjoy 69 as much as I always have. Even some guys say they can't concentrate on their own pleasure while trying to pleasure someone else at the same time, but for me, feeling his pleasure increases my pleasure which seems to turn him on more, too. At least this is how it's generally worked in my best relationships, the ones that will always be closest to my heart.
Have I had recreational sex? Sure! If you read my last post you already know a bit about my background in that regard, but I'm telling you right now that I truly felt love for and completely trusted each person I was with.
And while I haven't fallen in love and lived happily ever after with any of them, I can honestly tell you that our relations, at least when we were together, were equally and mutually fulfilling.