Friend's With Benefits
Is it possible for two people to remain friends while having sex?
This is a question that's often debated and whose answer is rarely agreed upon, often even by the people participating in the relationship. It seems that someone frequently develops feelings outside the boundaries agreed upon, assuming an actual agreement was even established before sex enters the equation.
I've been on both sides of this situation, where I was the one who hoped it would turn into something more and once, where the guy was the one who'd hoped for more. When I realized that it saddened me to see I'd broken his heart because he thought that my finally giving in to him it must have meant his feelings were reciprocated, even though it was a case of a broken heart and too much booze that led to it. Our friendship was destroyed beyond repair.
Except for one instance with a good longtime friend, where we were both feeling lonely and unloved and had wonderful sex and slept together a single time, my other experiences with this have had the rules totally dictated by the men. Both of us were fairly happy with the unspoken guidelines but none of these relationships ever amounted to more than being Fuck Buddies, I suppose. Each one died a natural death, without any anguish for either of us, but it's been a long time since I've been comfortable having this sort of arrangement with anyone.
I'm not exactly sure when or how it happened, but a time came when I wanted something deeper with my sex and realized that I deserve it.
It's been years since I've had a sex life, and quite a long time since I've even been kissed, but it's not for lack of opportunity. It's simply that I refuse to get physically involved with someone I don't share a deep emotional connection with. I don't want to and I don't need to and the reactions from people have been quite mixed, with many (mostly guys) telling me I'm stupid and that just because I'm not in love it doesn't mean I should be deprived of a sex life.
But I don't feel deprived. This time I'm holding out for the whole shebang--it's everything or nothing at all. And it feels great knowing there's someone out there worth holding out for and that by not settling for someone less than Mr. Right, as I've done so many times in the past, I'm sure to be ready, willing and available when he finally turns up.