jwallis's Blog

Over the weekend, Michael Richards (Kramer from Seinfield was performing at the Laugh Box (or something liek that) in LA. The audience (all what, 20 of them?) were talking during his routine and began heckling him. Because it's not hard to do, he was Kramer for god's sake. The stupidest character on the stupidest show. Sorry, tangent.

Mr. Richards began yelling at the audience, which whatever, its his lack of career.

Then he dropped the 'N' bomb. Multiple times. (For those unsure, its the one that rhymes with 'trigger'.) Directly at the audience.

He's not allowed at the Laugh Box anymore. The country is scrutenizing him like nothing else. He went on Letterman last night via satellite to apologize and the audience laughed during the apology. Which is sad and kinda funny.

What upsets me is that the world is being so hard on him because he directed it at audience members, which I agree is uncool. But the prevelance of racial slurs in most stand up routines for comedians OF color is astounding. Would it have been as offensive if Michael Richards would have called someone a term like the 'N' bomb DURING the routine? Yes, it would have, we all know it. Why? Because he is about as white as Casper the Racially Minded and Politically Correct Ghost. He calls someone a 'mud baby' during a routine and he's a bigot SOB who deserves to be burned at the proverbial stake. Chris Rock drops the 'N' bomb, and its politically correct and totally okay. The same goes with derogatory terms for ALL races. If you are a member of that race, its allowed, but if not, you are a racist bastard.

There are two options: either lighten the hell up about people using racial slurs or STOP USING THEM YOURSELF!!!!!! There are terms i SURE don't use, despite fitting into the demographic. Being called a wop is just as offensive coming from an italian as it is from a toad sucker (that's a Frenchman).

In regard to Michael Richards: Leave him the hell alone. It's not like he's in the media enough for an impact to be made from what he said. And on top of that, any one of you pushed to the line would probably say the same thing in his place. Humiliation of a performer who is doing what he does is quite possibly the biggest kick in the balls you can imagine, and it's not easy to turn the other cheek when its being thrown in your face.

Sorry for the break in posts. I've had some internet problems that are being resolved.

Commercial interruption is the main purpose of television, radio and life really. Whether we admit it or not, radio stations were always an advertising medium, as is television. The shows and broadcasts are designed purely to increase ratings that will make people watch commercials.

There comes a point where commercials, however, start to reflect the Teamsters break schedule: 15 minutes work, 30 minute break, repeat. I've noticed the rise of commercials in popular shows such as Lost and ER have grown to a point that is beyond belief. For example, your typical hour long show used to be 45 minutes of show, 15 minutes of commercial spread through the duration (usually 3 minute breaks 5 times). Now, shows in the prime time slots are having to further edit content because advertisers are adding an unworldly 25 minutes of commercials in the show (usually six 4-minute breaks). It's rapidly approaching the point where there are more commercials than shows on.

I understand that stations are out to make money because we live in a capitalist state. But that many commercials will put people off. I played a computer game when i was about 4 on my Apple II+ (green screen and all) and you grew apples and had to pick the right price for maximum profit. You could charge 50c each, but only 3 would sell. if you charged 30c each, 7 would sell. Commercials are the same way. If you add that many, less people will watch and you will LOSE money. Period.

I'm issuing a rally cry. A boycot. A petition? A suggestion at the very least. Commercialize our lives less. It may have been why TV started, but its not why its still alive.

Once upon a time, there was this girl who had a talent. It was gymnastics and dance. But she wanted to sing, and she was okay, but not great. Then, through the power of technology, she released a hit album, and with surgery to become a D-Cup, she became famous. Then this guy wanted to be famous and be a rapper, so he seduced and impregnated the girl, got famous, and then got his sory butt dumped. NOW another boy has come along and wants to be on her tour because he has no career on his own.

Nick Lache, fresh off his extremely depressing album, has found his tour match. He has been reported as contacting Britney Spears and her party crew to arrange to open for her on her unannounced but theoretically planned comeback tour. He feels his presence could add something to her show and wants to snag a piece of the rebound action.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I wouldn't call myself a Britney "fan," but she does a killer stage show. Dances, costume changes, minimal singing, she reminds me a lot of old school Janet (Velvet Rope tour anyone?). I'm just trying to wrap my head around what Nick could remotely add to the show. Other than getting more 12 year old girls to show up than before. Which is a blog in itself because it annoys the HELL out of me to listen to 12 year old girls sing "You hurt me so bad/ You broke my heart/ I don't know how I will move on" when most haven't even had their first period, much less heartbreak. That's another story. This is a blog about the rape of Britney's career.

I guess in the end it doesn't matter who opens for Britney, because she's going to have her fans either way. All adding Nick to the lineup does is raise ticket prices about $10. I say go for it, just don't expect much of a demographic to flock because Nick Lache is opening.

I was trying to refrain from blogging about Borat because the entire concept of the movie is racist and offensive. But it's the number one movie for the second straight week, so I have no choice but to leave a few thoughts on it.

I am not going to talk about the movie. I'm going to talk about the people who have stepped forward in the last 2 weeks since the movie first was released and sued Sasha Cohen because they were misled into signing a contract that basically said "make an ass of yourself and we will give you $400, as long as you don't sue us afterward. I speak of the "frat boys" who got drunk and spoke negatively about Jews, women, and other minorities. Now they claim defamation and loss of their good reputation.

First of all, they are frat boys. Their "good reputation" consists of winning a keg tapping contest and scoring with sorority girls that no one else has been able to touch. Basically, keeping in line with what they did in the mockumentary.

But lets pretend for a second they do have a legit case. Where was it when the film was in post production? Hell, where was it THE NEXT DAY!?? Had the movie flopped, they probably would have thought nothing of it and gone on their way. But it didn't flop. People want to make fun of Arabs now because they are frickin sick. And as a result, Cohen is rolling in money and these two kids, who willingly got drunk, make complete idiots of themselves and now feel they are entitled to their piece of the pie.

Face it children, your 15 minutes was over the second the curtain dropped and the audience started leaving. You won't win this case because you signed the contract and you accepted the money. Move on with whats left of your "defamed" life and get over it.

If one more couple gets married, divorced, cheated on or otherwise has a relationship change this week, I'm going to kill myself the Drowning Pool method (look it up people). Because the divorces weren't enough for the news week (see last blog), Tom and Katie are getting married Saturday (Scientologists from around the country are being flown in on John Travolta's jet, insert Grease joke here )and now rumor has it Nick Lache asked his girlfriend, Vanessa (from MTV fame) to marry him. The only joke here is that she apparantly said no.

I love how celebrities go into these marriages with the fake sincerity and the "everything will work out" smiles, even knowing that the odds of them lasting are minimal (Faith Hill and Tim McGraw for the win!). Ryan and Reese were together what, four years? Seven years? As long as I can remember (i think seven). And they are done. What hope does Nick Lache have with ANYONE? I mean, R&R (oh how creative am I now) at least had talent going for thme, both being incredible actors. Nick Lache saw the only two things that made him famous (98 degrees and Jessica Simpson) leave him in the dust. He's now just riding the aftershocks before the world remembers that, aside from being built and attractive to most the population, he's a has been. And i KNOW there is more than one office pool on how long it will take Katie Holmes to realize that Tom Cruise is f#$&*%@ INSANE and say goodbye (my money is on one more year, 5-1 odds).

Celebrity marriages do nothing but eliminate the "Sanctity of Marriage" argument against gay marriage. I know of SEVERAL gay couples that have been together longer than Katie Holmes has even been alive, which is rare in a world where people who CAN get married have a 50% chance of ending that marriage before the "til death" clause comes into effect. I have to give kudos to Brangelina for not tying the knot... maybe that have the most hope of any of them.

Tis the season for dissolution it seems. Ryan Phillipe is rumored to have been sticking it to a co actress in a filming he was doing and Kevin Federline was.. well.. he's Kevin Federline. I can't blame Reese Witherspoon and Britney Spears to, respectively, remove the boys from their lives.

Reese and Ryan have been splits for almost a week now, and the tabloids (People and Entertainment Weekly) and news magazines (Enquirer and Globe) have been having a field day with it.

So what could be so dramatic that the focus is shifted from Ryan/Reese splitting? Britney filed for divorce Wednesday from K-Fed, the "rapper". Irreconsilible differences was cited, though I think it goes deeper than that. I think that Brit realized thet K-Fed, while reminding her of home, its dirty white trash who makes her look like dirty white trash and kills any career he is involved with, including his own. Upon this realization, she threw him to the curb.

Not that I don't think he has talent. I think K-Fed is the best marketing agent ever. He built his career out of, literally, nothing. That takes some marketing genius.

WHich split is biggest news for you?

The 40th Annual Country Music Association Awards were on last night, meaning that the CMA awards started the same year as the Super Bowl. That has nothing to do with this post, I just thought it was interesting.

Last night, two of the three most coveted awards were rocked by scandal. THe first on a lower key, Keith Urban won Male Vocalist of the Year, but he was unable to be there, as he was in Rehab. He sent a touching letter however, and the hosts accepted on his behalf. Not so bad, except it means someone knew he won, and informed him, so he could write a letter. I doubt he sent a "just in case" letter.

The better one was the Female Vocalist of the Year award, which was presented to Carrie Underwood, my girl from season 4 of American Idol.Her winning was not the scandal, that was provided by Faith Hill, who, backstage from a performance shortly before, very visibly became upset, mouthing the word "What!" in exclamation of, assumedly, not winning.

Here's why that's so wonderful. Everyone knows that artists have to get kinda angry when they lose, and they put on a happy face. Faith didn't. Faith was vocal about her dissent. I'm just happy she was backstage and not around small children or weapons. The video can be seen here. Take a look and tell me what you think.

Flava Flav, of the absolute HIT (read: piece of crap) reality show "Flava of Love" is expecting his seventh child. That's not a typo. Seventh. Meaning there are six others in the world already. Apparently, when things with season one winner "Hoopz" didn't work out, he resumed a "off-and-on relationship with the baby's mother."

What get's me is that this woman, who is still unnamed (for her sake, a good thing) at some point looked at him, took off his clothes,a nd told him to inseminate her. That thought right there is all the birth control i will EVER need. The man is disgusting. DISGUSTING. He dates 10 women at a time, then narrowing them down by the most pedantic of traits (one was eliminated because she didn't wear clothes that accentuated her ass-ets), then dumping the last one because she is too friend-esque with him. Then sleeps with his ex and gets her pregnant. What a father figure. He claims he wants three more before he dies. Nowhere in his biographies does it list the mothers of his children, but i'm going to assume that there are 7 different mothers for his children. Are YOU one of Flava's kids?