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jwallis's Blog


Twin Vision

Filed under: Posts — jwallis @ 12:40:18 am

Brangelina continues to make headlines with the fact that she will be having a pair of offspring soon (looking at her size, I HOPE it's soon... the woman is about to explode). This is a news story because having two babies at once is such an unmeasurable feat that it amazes me her body can stand it. Its not like millions of sets of twins are born everyday you know...

This is a story because they are the beautiful people. I'm not sure who in their right mind cares about the $40 million nursery that pretty much guarantees that the children will get their asses kicked at any public school they go to. Yes the stories keep coming, meaning either the media outlets are desperate or the public is not in their right mind. Or both.

Show me birth photos. Until then, I don't need a play by play. She's knocked up. She has the babies, story over. Leave it at that.

Meanwhile, Britney has disappeared from the headlines for a week. Unless you count Which I don't. From important headlines, she has been absent, and I say good for her. We don't need to hear every detail of everything she does. Privacy is not dead people, and she didn't sign it away that much...


The Race Is On

Filed under: Posts — jwallis @ 12:07:31 pm

Over the weekend, Michael Richards (Kramer from Seinfield was performing at the Laugh Box (or something liek that) in LA. The audience (all what, 20 of them?) were talking during his routine and began heckling him. Because it's not hard to do, he was Kramer for god's sake. The stupidest character on the stupidest show. Sorry, tangent.

Mr. Richards began yelling at the audience, which whatever, its his lack of career.

Then he dropped the 'N' bomb. Multiple times. (For those unsure, its the one that rhymes with 'trigger'.) Directly at the audience.

He's not allowed at the Laugh Box anymore. The country is scrutenizing him like nothing else. He went on Letterman last night via satellite to apologize and the audience laughed during the apology. Which is sad and kinda funny.

What upsets me is that the world is being so hard on him because he directed it at audience members, which I agree is uncool. But the prevelance of racial slurs in most stand up routines for comedians OF color is astounding. Would it have been as offensive if Michael Richards would have called someone a term like the 'N' bomb DURING the routine? Yes, it would have, we all know it. Why? Because he is about as white as Casper the Racially Minded and Politically Correct Ghost. He calls someone a 'mud baby' during a routine and he's a bigot SOB who deserves to be burned at the proverbial stake. Chris Rock drops the 'N' bomb, and its politically correct and totally okay. The same goes with derogatory terms for ALL races. If you are a member of that race, its allowed, but if not, you are a racist bastard.

There are two options: either lighten the hell up about people using racial slurs or STOP USING THEM YOURSELF!!!!!! There are terms i SURE don't use, despite fitting into the demographic. Being called a wop is just as offensive coming from an italian as it is from a toad sucker (that's a Frenchman).

In regard to Michael Richards: Leave him the hell alone. It's not like he's in the media enough for an impact to be made from what he said. And on top of that, any one of you pushed to the line would probably say the same thing in his place. Humiliation of a performer who is doing what he does is quite possibly the biggest kick in the balls you can imagine, and it's not easy to turn the other cheek when its being thrown in your face.


We now return you to your regular scheduled program

Filed under: Posts — jwallis @ 12:35:47 pm

Sorry for the break in posts. I've had some internet problems that are being resolved.

Commercial interruption is the main purpose of television, radio and life really. Whether we admit it or not, radio stations were always an advertising medium, as is television. The shows and broadcasts are designed purely to increase ratings that will make people watch commercials.

There comes a point where commercials, however, start to reflect the Teamsters break schedule: 15 minutes work, 30 minute break, repeat. I've noticed the rise of commercials in popular shows such as Lost and ER have grown to a point that is beyond belief. For example, your typical hour long show used to be 45 minutes of show, 15 minutes of commercial spread through the duration (usually 3 minute breaks 5 times). Now, shows in the prime time slots are having to further edit content because advertisers are adding an unworldly 25 minutes of commercials in the show (usually six 4-minute breaks). It's rapidly approaching the point where there are more commercials than shows on.

I understand that stations are out to make money because we live in a capitalist state. But that many commercials will put people off. I played a computer game when i was about 4 on my Apple II+ (green screen and all) and you grew apples and had to pick the right price for maximum profit. You could charge 50c each, but only 3 would sell. if you charged 30c each, 7 would sell. Commercials are the same way. If you add that many, less people will watch and you will LOSE money. Period.

I'm issuing a rally cry. A boycot. A petition? A suggestion at the very least. Commercialize our lives less. It may have been why TV started, but its not why its still alive.


Heartbreak World Tour

Filed under: Posts — jwallis @ 09:45:50 am

Once upon a time, there was this girl who had a talent. It was gymnastics and dance. But she wanted to sing, and she was okay, but not great. Then, through the power of technology, she released a hit album, and with surgery to become a D-Cup, she became famous. Then this guy wanted to be famous and be a rapper, so he seduced and impregnated the girl, got famous, and then got his sory butt dumped. NOW another boy has come along and wants to be on her tour because he has no career on his own.

Nick Lache, fresh off his extremely depressing album, has found his tour match. He has been reported as contacting Britney Spears and her party crew to arrange to open for her on her unannounced but theoretically planned comeback tour. He feels his presence could add something to her show and wants to snag a piece of the rebound action.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I wouldn't call myself a Britney "fan," but she does a killer stage show. Dances, costume changes, minimal singing, she reminds me a lot of old school Janet (Velvet Rope tour anyone?). I'm just trying to wrap my head around what Nick could remotely add to the show. Other than getting more 12 year old girls to show up than before. Which is a blog in itself because it annoys the HELL out of me to listen to 12 year old girls sing "You hurt me so bad/ You broke my heart/ I don't know how I will move on" when most haven't even had their first period, much less heartbreak. That's another story. This is a blog about the rape of Britney's career.

I guess in the end it doesn't matter who opens for Britney, because she's going to have her fans either way. All adding Nick to the lineup does is raise ticket prices about $10. I say go for it, just don't expect much of a demographic to flock because Nick Lache is opening.


Law Suits and Banana Hammocks

Filed under: Posts — jwallis @ 11:54:24 am

I was trying to refrain from blogging about Borat because the entire concept of the movie is racist and offensive. But it's the number one movie for the second straight week, so I have no choice but to leave a few thoughts on it.

I am not going to talk about the movie. I'm going to talk about the people who have stepped forward in the last 2 weeks since the movie first was released and sued Sasha Cohen because they were misled into signing a contract that basically said "make an ass of yourself and we will give you $400, as long as you don't sue us afterward. I speak of the "frat boys" who got drunk and spoke negatively about Jews, women, and other minorities. Now they claim defamation and loss of their good reputation.

First of all, they are frat boys. Their "good reputation" consists of winning a keg tapping contest and scoring with sorority girls that no one else has been able to touch. Basically, keeping in line with what they did in the mockumentary.

But lets pretend for a second they do have a legit case. Where was it when the film was in post production? Hell, where was it THE NEXT DAY!?? Had the movie flopped, they probably would have thought nothing of it and gone on their way. But it didn't flop. People want to make fun of Arabs now because they are frickin sick. And as a result, Cohen is rolling in money and these two kids, who willingly got drunk, make complete idiots of themselves and now feel they are entitled to their piece of the pie.

Face it children, your 15 minutes was over the second the curtain dropped and the audience started leaving. You won't win this case because you signed the contract and you accepted the money. Move on with whats left of your "defamed" life and get over it.

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