midnightradio's Blog

so the need for human interaction has been completely obliterated. last night my girlfriend was reading this south american magazine called soho, which is a latin american version of maxim (but much more about pop culture and much more tastefully done). and there was an article about this things called love dolls. eventually her excitement over such a weird concept pulled me away from harry potter and the half-blood prince. and there they were.

love dolls are life sized replicas of women that you can custom order to have sex with. you can even get a girl with porn star sized breasts. she has three holes and she even has a suction system built in so that no man will ever have to beg for a blow job again. they come in all difference races, different sizes, different everything. some make noise. some talk. some even move and arch their backs for you. some menstruate and some pee. and of course, they even get wet.

these pretty little sex partners only cost about $4,000 and were designed by a special effects artist. they even come with a cleaning kit.

so what will be the effect of these dolls? i think these dolls will help curb sex crimes. if men start buying these dolls, they'll start having sex with inanimate objects and never need to have a real woman again. maybe there won't be any more rapes. maybe a wife will buy this for her husband so he doesn't go around having affairs. nobody will need to pay for a prostitute anymore. geeks will have a playmate for those lonely nights in their dorm rooms. less and less girls will get pregnant and overpopulation will be curbed. these love dolls will make the world a safer better place for everybody.

so go get yours today. http://www.realdoll.com/

lesson #1. if you hook up with a friend, you are virtually saying, terminate this friendship. that is one line even william b. travis wouldn't cross.

even if that amigo is a hot soccer player from honduras with a really sexy accent. even IF that comrade seduces you. even IF that boy was the last good thing you remember about being straight.

so while yes mr. central america was the great brown hope for all men that would eventually cross my path, he went down in glorious flames when we made out one careless summer night while watching al pacino try to tommy gun his way out of his mansion in scarface. my friend J vanished out of my life as memorably as pacino floating in that fountain.

see the thing is, when you hook up with a friend, you are erasing a little line called boundaries. boundaries keep the friendship working. they give us rules. and a framework, a constitution even. tell me - when has anarchy ever worked? this framework between friends makes the friendship long lasting and every bit as satisfying as the long LONG long tongue action you get. in the end, testing the limits of friendship will leave one person in an abyss of emotional hyperbole. (that was me btw)

so we kissed. sex got in the way. we complicated life. emotions got in the way. we lost. my best friend of nearly 3 years was eviscerated from my world. all in the time span of 1 month. so learn your lesson, dear readers, stay away from that juicy best pal of yours just because you want to jump his bones. lust will never work as the spine of a strong relationship. love is the key component.