Short Answers about Porn
Well Lindsey and I are getting on the road in about an hour so this will be our last column from Seattle.
We figured we'd clean out the Cats and Dogs message center and answer a few questions all at once. Here we go...
Q: Every girl in porno these days has a completely shaved crotch.
Do guys really care about that?
A: It does matter to guys when we're watching porno. The point of porn is too watch women do stuff that your girlfriend or wife doesn't. That's why they always show blow jobs for like 6 hours. In real life we might ask you to shave it once in awhile just for something new and different but really if we like you we don't really care. If it's on your legs or stomach then you should give yourself a trim. Also if you wear panty hoes and your bush gets all mashed up and weird looking it's probably time for a new do.
Q: My boyfriend comes really quick. I mean almost immediately, even
when wearing a condom. I like him so I don't want to break up, but I'd
really like to enjoy our sex life as well.
A: Your boyfriend either has a physical problem with premature ejaculation in which case he should see a Dr. I'm always one for home remedies though and I suspect he has too much semen built up. You need to get him on a strict regiment of jerking off right when he wakes up in the morning. And then maybe on his lunch break. Hopefully he lives close to work. He probably shouldn't jerk off in his car or in the file room. I also suggest that you buy him some porno. I would be psyched if my girlfriend bought me porn. It's like that crappy song says "More then words to say you love me." I think that dude is talking about getting porno.
Q: I've come to realize that I actually enjoy masturbating to porno more
then having sex with my girlfriend. Sometimes I have already
jerked off twice before I see her and then I don't feel like doing it.
What should I do?
A: Shit, well now I don't know what to say to the previous person. I guess don't buy your boyfriend porn or else he may get hooked on it and not want to have sex with you at all?
I'll be perfectly honest and say that I've gone through similar phases myself. I think it's really just from sheer boredom though. You need to get a hobby. I'm gonna guess you spend way too much time doing laundry as well. I'd say join the gym. You'll feel better afterwards, you'll have more energy to fuck your girlfriend and it'll give you an hour or so each day where if you reach for your dick you'll drop a dumbbell on your head.
And over to you Linz...
To the dude who's more excited by porn than by his flesh-and-blood girlfriend, don't be such a chicken shit and get with reality. Maybe too you could organise your time differently so you see her first...der. Is she really ugly or aren't you looking properly? Maybe you should look at the Femme Fatale entry at the Downunder blog for a back-to-basics reminder of the beauty of the female bod. May a dumbell descend on your head!
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