Straight Up

11/06/05

Lost Loves

Filed under: Life — Hawkwind @ 08:10:28 pm

Hey Guys,

I have a problem. Big Surprise. Anyway here's the deal. My boyfriend and I own a house and have been living together for 3 years now. The relationship is good, but I have to admit that I'm feeling kind of bored with him lately. Sometimes I feel that if we went to counseling or if we try to work things out that I might change my mind. The real problem is that I just got an e mail from an old boyfriend last week. He said that he will be in town next month and wants to see me. This is a guy that I always felt was my soul mate and makes me feel the way I wish that my current boyfriend did. Do you think I should try to work things out with the current one, go for the old flame or what? I'm really confused here.

-anonymous

Ok it sounds more like you have a few problems. First why do you own a house with someone that you aren't married to? I don't think you should even think about living with someone unless you plan to spend the rest of your life with them. The paperwork alone sounds like a nightmare. As hard as it's gonna be there is really only one answer here. Break up with your boyfriend. No amount of counseling or trying to change your mind will ever help you love him again. It's over so you're just gonna have to move on.

That's actually easier in a way then the lost love scenario. For some reason the lost love attraction can be stronger years later then even the first time you meet someone. Maybe it's a bit of the absence makes the heart grow fonder or this suspended reality that things were better back then. The truth is that you've just forgot the reason you broke up with this person in the first place. Whether it was your's or their doing. I'm suspicious of lost loves getting in contact with you. The majority of the time they have probably just gotten out of a relationship and are contacting you only because they are lonely themselves.

Have lunch with the guy. You will anyway. But be cautious as to why he wants to see you again. Maybe you're better off on your own right now.

35 comments

Comments

okkkkkkk...
Here's the deal this is a topic where I actually have first hand experience on 2 occasions...My highschool Prom date (yes I went to stupid prom) I dated this guy the end of junior and all through senior(foot ball team jock), we made out massively but I never slept with him...anyway, he left right after Highschool to go to the marines before he left he came to my moms house to ask her permission to marry me.. but I got scared and ran off and never contacted him again.. long story short HS reunion last year and half ago.. I mean I saw him and the flames ignited, I mean we were like kids again, he lived in a different city and we emailed like crazy and had phone sex and met on a couple occasions, then like a couple months later it clicked, the fire extinguished, the novelty wore out.. I never called him again. College same experience, my dream guy appeared from nowhere like 5 years later and we met up, made out massively and then parted company, I blocked his emails and never returned his calls. The lesson here is that these guys are just fantasies, they are a reminder of when you were younger and childish and didnt thave a care in the world.. Well guess what.. you're grown up now, with a fucking house with a mortgage, utilities, possibly a car note for a crappy car and a boyfriend who farts in his sleep and wakes up with skid marks in his draws...My suggestion is to meet up with your solemate, MAKEOUT MASSIVELY, let him wine you and dine you but keep in mind that this guy does not want to get with you because he loves you or you have a future with him, he is probably going through a mid life crisis and needs his ego stroked by the girl he couldnt have way back then, or the girl who broke his heart or the girl who was pining for him or your name was the last resort name in his little black book... If you have sex with him on the first day HE WILL NOT CALL YOU BACK and then you'll feel like dog shit... so therefore you must make out, tease the son of a bitch and then send his ass back to Dallas or wherever the fuck he emerged from in the first place -
Don't offer him shit, like money, a place to stay or to use your car dont even buy him dinner until at least he treats you first..
And you know deep inside you love your farty ass boyfriend, so stop trying to rationalize why all of a sudden your old flame shows up and you suddenly you dont love your boyfriend.. you do too love your boyfriend so stop lying to yourself and to Jed :)
And go back to picking up after him and cooking dinner and washing his draws and then fucking him and still having to pay half the bills and drive his triffling ass to find a job..

there - I feel better -
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/06/05 @ 20:37
Why the hell are you blocking someones emails and phone calls? Why not tell the guys that you were caught up in the fantasy, you are a great guy, blah, blah, blah...I hate when guys do shit like that.
Comment by lisa [Visitor] — 11/07/05 @ 02:15
heheh ...for the obvious reason - I wasnt caught up in the fantasy...I saw the game for what it was. A man comes back into your life afrer 5-10 years from out of nowhere and expects you to drop your shit and rekindle the flame, thats bullshit... He could have gotten my number a bit earlier than 5-10 years later.. on the same breath everyone wants to know they still got it - let me tell you, sometimes when you treat a guy like shit they do not want to be without you..this is a fact. Nice guys always finish last. why bock the emails and the phonecalls, because I know where this was going and you know we got the affirmation we needed and moved on- I still had it, he still had it and that was it - back to reality...I refuse to drop my shit for some unsure ass
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/07/05 @ 02:30
my advice. find out why you are bored with him. chances are its not about him, its about you. so if you just shrug it off it'll happen with every guy you are with. dont engage in relationships with any men until you have figured this out, otherwise your analitical powers will go out the window and you'll be unable to resolve the issue.

On another note, not calling someone back (blocking their calls, emails and so forth) to explain why you dont want to talk to them anymore after "making out massively" with them is low. very low. most likely stemming from a fear of confrontation. and in the end the basic aspect of fear of confrontation is confronting yourself, seeing your fears, secrets, desires and so on first hand without being able to look away.

May you have a fruitful week.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/07/05 @ 12:41
One thing I want to say is that there are exceptions to every rule and sometimes it doesn't matter how long it's been since you've seen or talked to a person. You can tell right away who the special ones are because you pick up the conversation like you never you left. People like that are few and far between and you really owe it to yourself to keep in touch with them.

Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 02:35
true.
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 03:09
na.. hell no... In both my cases withthe flings that came back 5-10 years later the conversations were awesome!! Pease I had more butterflies flu ttering in my stomach than the fucking Butterfly gardens - thats called charm and thats the novelty of an old flame... thats what you expect, I mean an old flae shows up and youre not feeling the conversation does not constitute a flame - there is no flame theres only "hey, my ex from highschool showed up yesterday, cool" Now if it were a true friend that you seriously were in love with but you dont know what happened then maybe other than that its just an overratd booty call...
H ey Alex... I am not afraid of confrontation at all
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 08:05
really? prove it by thumb wrestling me. ill beat you good at it, my thumb is a silver medal olympic wrestler.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 11:19
:) Now thumb wrestling you have nothing on me, I have a quick thumb..one might even say its magical haha...and lets just say that i am extremely competitive :)
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 11:42
I will take you guys both on at the same time.
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 16:13
heres the crucial question, and this goes for both of you: are you a thumb wrestler or a thumb-wrist wrestler? most people dont know their ass from a lamppost when it comes to thumb wrestling, they jerk their hand and forearm all around like their having a seizure. true thumb wrestling involves thumbs only, thats where the skill comes in.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 16:24
so which one are you?
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 16:26
heheh .. Ok Alex ..
1. My ass looks nothing like a lampost, so I could tell the difference... lol
.2. I do not move my wrists and forearms etc. in a seriuos game. Now say I was flirting with a guy I might make a few maneuvers to land me perhaps in an accidental embrace and hope I dont get an embarrassing broken wrist.
Not to worry I am a skilled player and I play with porcelain chimese ballls to warm up heheh ...
so are you challenging me to a duel? lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 18:20
heheh .. Ok Alex ..
1. My ass looks nothing like a lampost, so I could tell the difference... lol
.2. I do not move my wrists and forearms etc. in a seriuos game. Now say I was flirting with a guy I might make a few maneuvers to land me perhaps in an accidental embrace and hope I dont get an embarrassing broken wrist.
Not to worry I am a skilled player and I play with porcelain chimese ballls to warm up heheh ...
so are you challenging me to a duel? lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 18:21
heheh .. Ok Alex ..
1. My ass looks nothing like a lampost, so I could tell the difference... lol
.2. I do not move my wrists and forearms etc. in a seriuos game. Now say I was flirting with a guy I might make a few maneuvers to land me perhaps in an accidental embrace and hope I dont get an embarrassing broken wrist.
Not to worry I am a skilled player and I play with porcelain chimese ballls to warm up heheh ...
so are you challenging me to a duel? lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 18:22
way to post that 3 times in a row. luckily for you thumb wrestling is not done with your mouse clicking fingers.

i am challenging you to a duel, i dont know how this would be done over the internet though. any ideas?
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 18:37
hey Im having a problem logging into friendsation ..I didnt even know my blog went through.. but I guess that qualifies for 3 posts heheh ..
A duel over the internet... very iinteesting .. I say we can do a series of Q and A for each accurate answer you get to move your thumb aboove the other persons lol... say the best of 15 ?
Look Im a writer not working for Mattel thats the bestI can come up with .. not to n=be romantic or anthing but duels are so chivalrous... Ill kick your ass Alex ..lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/08/05 @ 18:55
OK guys .. so I have now removed my pic... I hope everyone remembers the face to the erratic postings...lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 12:54
OK guys .. so I have now removed my pic... I hope everyone remembers the face to the erratic postings...loll
I still have to manually log into friendsation
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 12:56
too complicated. lets just fast forward into the future and realize that i beat you, which is what would have happened anyway. just making life easier on all of us.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 13:20
spoken like any intimidated man lol, how about this .. I win and you just look pretty and smile lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 14:56
this is the part where im supposed to go 'oh, im not intimidated you lower female being, ill take you anytime and go back to the kitchen and bla bla bla fucking bla.' to quote anchorman thats not how i roll. thats what makes me the winner.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 15:20
:P
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 15:52
ssee your forfeited because it wsa too complicated so.. you forfeit / I win and... anchorman sucked lol...
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/09/05 @ 23:45
now i know better than to trust your taste in movies as well. lessons kick ass.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/10/05 @ 12:09
Oh pleeeaze... I am the movie queen (and the ice queen) .. I have seen almost every movie from 1999 to present (except those out inthe theather since I dont have time to go..) - I dont need lessons to kick ass.. I just can
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/10/05 @ 15:17
Have you seen Harold and Maude?
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/10/05 @ 16:22
Ok Harold and Maude I have not seen, but I have heard the reference made by cameron diaz's character in Something about Mary as Mary's favorite movie being Harold and Maude ... Something about Mary was hilarious. heheh
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 07:28
anchorman kicked serious ass. you have to admit that watching ron burgundy strutting his 'guns' around turns you on, and his jokes melt your ice into puddles of love. hahahaha.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 11:17
in all seriousness i reccomend the movie 'waking life' itll give you things to think about.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 12:13
Replying to your story above .I had that to happen to me once i broke up with the one i was with before getting back with the other when everything was said and done i didn't want either of them .So i think you should at least break up with the one your with then go out with the other guy.Or just tell your boyfriend a old friend of yours is back in town and you would like to see them .It want be a lie cause the guy is a old friend .Even though you still have feelings for him well good luck to you and what you decide .Deborah
Comment by foxiedollz [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 13:38
Uhhhh...Ron Bundy's "guns" do nothing for me .. he's not even my type.. so there but I'll try walking life - is it available at block busters .. Oh Id like to reccomend Head in the Clouds that was an awesome movie ..one of my favs...Melt my ice puddles hahhahh... Oh alex...you havent figured me out yet have you lol
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 15:43
"and his jokes melt your ice into puddles of love" i laughed my ass off after coming up with this one. hope you guys have fun this weekend. i will.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 16:29
hhaha... nobody's jokes melts my ice into puddles of love" lol except Adam Sandler and OH yes Owen Wilson...yummy
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/11/05 @ 19:15
Iâ€™ve heard so much about this website, so I finally decided to visit it. I have to say that Itâ€™s nothing special..
Comment by burgundy [Visitor] — 04/06/08 @ 13:49

11/06/05

Lost Loves

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