Straight Up

So much has happened in the past week, I don't even know where to start. I moved to L.A last Monday. I know I was talking about driving down there in my last blog, but I didn't really go into detal......So, here I go. I picked up Lindsey in Ballard on Monday around 12 pm. That's the highlight of my whole trip. I know, I wish I could give you some juicy details, but really, that's about it. Nothing exciting happened until Wednesday night when we got to Manhatten Beach and got to crash on our bosses couch for free. She was out of town, so she left the house key hidden on her patio but it took us forever to find it. It was dark when we got there so we had to lift up anything that looked like it could have a key hiding under it. I had to use my cellphone screen as a light. Finally we found the key in a aluminum painted frog holding fake flowers right in front of her door.........I don't think the average Joe could have found that.

Throughout the whole trip I had been really constipated, so when we arrived at our bosses, I felt like it was time to take a dump. What I didn't realize was that her septic system was really sensitive. Lindsey had gone pee and flushed and it was fine, so I didn't think anything of if. Well, after I did my business the fucking thing wouldn't flush. I sat there with my hand on my forehead, leaning against the wall, staring down the drain at my log, trying to figure out how to get it down. I tried to flush a second time and that wouldn't work, so I turned off the water tank and proceeded to shut the lid and pretend like nothing had happened.

I finally found my new home, which is located in Hollywood, and I like it . I live with a 33 year old woman who plays the banjo and writes a comic book. The best part is that my room has butterflies and fairies painted on the walls. For a while I sat there and thought about my life. I really feel like its time for me to become a better man so I thought up a few new ideas to live by:

1. Do what I am good at. Don't try too hard or spend too much time doing what I am bad at.

2. Tell people what I am bad at, let them be aware.

3. Connect my energy to a creative outlet

4. Get well enough organized to achieve my goals

5. Ask for and give advice to those I trust. Ignore as best I can, the dream.

6. Make sure to keep up regular contact with a few close friends.

7. Stick to my positive side even though I have a negative one. Only make decisions when I haven't been drinking.

I think that those are a few keys to keep me going. I can't remember if I wrote them or if I found them in a self help book and recorded them in my journal. I don't think it matters. All that really matters is that I strike it rich down here. Anyways, I think its time for bed, I just got my ass kicked at a game of Monopoly by guys four years younger than me.