Happy Halloween!
Halloween is my favorite holiday ever. You don't have to hang out with your family and chicks always do really slutty things at this time. If youre reading this right now you probably had a really slutty weekend.
I have trouble figuring out cool costumes as I get older though. You can't be a ninja when you're 25. It has to be something funny.
I couldn't come up with anything cool until this Saturday when I woke up and had one of those eureka moments where I realized what I wanted to be. This year I will be a Gay Frog. I'll have like a frog costume, but I,ll wear a pride t shirt too. That would be cool if I could figure out a way to spit tadpoles at people. Babies and sperm and tadpoles are all the same anyway.
And speaking of sperm it brings us to this weeks question. It seems like everyone has one good masturbation story and here's another.
Dear Jed and Lindsey:
Not too long ago I walked in on my brother masturbating on my couch at midnight. At first I thought he was scratching his nuts and I kind of took a step closer until I realized that he was like really rubbing one off. I felt awkward and though I turned away the image was still embedded in my head. Anyways I asked him if I should find someone to help him with that. It was the wittiest thing I could find to say and he jumped out of his skin and started stuttering. Well anyways I haven't spoken to my brother since as he always scurries away when he sees me. My brother and I were very close but every time I see him I can't help but start laughing and making snide comments like "ewww what's that spot on the TV screen" and then he just like walks away. I also brought over my collection of playboy to the main bathroom as a suggestion but he threw it in the trash... What should I do to recover the relationship my brother and I once had? How do I stop laughing and making snide remarks when I can't help myself?
Jed I know you are a masturbator and must have gotten caught at some point?
Linz have you ever tried it and gotten caught what would you do if you caught your boyfriend masturbating or even worse caught Jed masturbating?
In High school I was a master debater and I had a friend with the last name Bates and we called him "Master Bates" and I have masturbated myself and gotten caught while having phone sex but it was by a 4 year old who probably thought I had a diaper rash or something
But this is my brother we are talking about.. I ...just want my brother back
Sincerely
Ballsbuster
Well Ballsbuster I never had a sister so I'm not sure where it ranks on the embarrassment scale. It can't be any worse then getting caught by my dad though. Especially since I was jerkin it to over 40 magazine. I've determined the worst case scenario is to be caught by your grandmother jerking off to Over 80 magazine.
As for your brother it seems that you have only made snide remarks which is only making him uncomfortable and making it funnier for you. You've known him your whole life right? You must have seen him naked before? It doesn't seem like this should be such a big deal.
Bringing out a bunch of Playboys is like making a kid smoke a carton of cigarettes after getting caught lighting up for the first time. Like "Hey I see you enjoy masturbating, here's a bunch of porno." It gives it this sense of somehow being wrong. He wants to know that you don"t care, not that you care so much as to help.
Basically your brother will get over it as soon as you do so just come out and tell him that its not a big deal and that it doesn't bother you. Once he figures out that you're cool with it he will be too.
P.S. Lindz and I are kinda like brother and sister at this point, so this week I'll do an experiment by getting "caught" masturbating in front of her. Results will be posted in the "if" and "then" style of the Scientific Method.
So how does one act like something is no big deal when they spent a lot of time making a big deal out of it.. does she say... sooo... you know bro what you did was noooooo big deal, I mean not at all, as a matter of fact I am so comfortable with it feel free to "jerk it" at your convenience heeh .. what does she say? Whats a good conversation starter?
PS. I think if Hawkwind ventures out to be a gay frog he needs to be careful he gets bashed. Ummmm and does a gay frog spew tadpoles? Can a gay frog be impregnated? Is he going as kermit?
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 14:51
Will you be dressed in your gay frog costume at the time?
If so, what position will you adopt? A lay-back, frog-leg spread position, or the leap position allowing for easy rear entry? Given you're gay, I suspect maybe the latter.
Come to think of it, does the gay frog costume allow for easy masturbation access?
Comment by Juji [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 16:50
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 17:55
I'm trying to figure out how to spit the tadpoles out.
Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 19:11
On a duller note its raining frogs here in Houston which sucks - Im back from a party because it sucks! Well a couple of things have been bothering me .. speaking of nocturnal emissions, I had an outbreak last night, a dream I had about a good friend of mine.. this guy is like, I have nevr thought about him in that way because when he was a senior in HS I was his instructor .. Ok Im like 4 years older...but this dream I had we were just making out really heavy and he was just all over my breasts and thighs and my legs were wrapped around his back and he was just ...MAN!!! It was fucking unbelievable, but when I woke up this morning I was saturated... I mean I was all sensitive down there, I did nt want to wake up...it was fucking awesome!!This guy works for me, I m his boss hes a Director in my company... I dont know now just thinking of him gives me butterflies in my stomach... the thing is I cant tell him....wierd.. I really didnt want to go out today, I wanted to sit and think about my dream, I was too caught up for even phone sex... thats strange.. anyone ever had nocturnal emissions...and is that a form of masturbation? Is it like mental masturbation?
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 20:31
Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 23:42
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 23:52
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/31/05 @ 23:59
See hawkwind... you were wrong it has nothing to so with my slutty phone sex habits -
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 00:13
Dunno who told you that...sounds to me like your dream meant you want to fuck this guy to oblivion. Juji x
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 16:20
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 17:58
What did one gay frog say to the other...
"rub it"
hahahahahah get it ...sometimes I crack myself up...
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 18:06
I guess one way to get to the truth of that dream might be to relieve some of that sexual tension with someone else, and then see if you still dream about him. Seems like a pretty good reason to go out and get laid - not that we need a reason.
I've just flung my f... buddy due to gross insensitivity, and am trying to rise above the frustration through meditation. Replacing the mmmm's with ommm's ain't quite cuttin' it at the moment though...
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 20:58
Im trying to be good - If I wanted to have sex I have options of guys who have been offering but I have always been one to hold out for something awesome!!! I dont settle for less than I deserve... the wierd thing is I laid in bed just thinking about the dream and like a hundred different ways I could make it even
better ...my friends called to go for coffee but I didnt want to go out- I spoke to my friend and he thought maybe I needed him to like give me a hug and see what happens.. but Im horny not stupid so I told him Id take a rain check... maybe I should masturbate- omg what a loser.. I just had an epiphany... only losers masturbate, like people that have noone, or like the fat lady with like 10 cats, or like ... my poor brother who once fucked a girls toes cause she didnt give up the ass- Ive become a total loser...I need Ben and Jerry, maybe Ill eat a gallon and adopt 10 cats... :)
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 21:52
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 21:53
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/01/05 @ 21:55
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/02/05 @ 15:56
All I know is I better find mr right tight away...before I become a dildo magnet
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/02/05 @ 16:44
here is a definition from an online dream dictionary:
To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.
To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually and you can even bring that sense of adventure to your existing relationship.
To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for people approaching their wedding to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than their intended spouses. This may be due to the intensity of your sexual passion with your fiancé. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.
If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, signifies not necessarily homosexual desire, but an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side.
To dream that you are the opposite sex, suggests that you exhibit or need to incorporate those qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/02/05 @ 18:54
I met my friends for coffee today and we discussed it a bit and well heres another interp...I'm finishing up my novel and the character in my book is in the same emotional state as I am, she's cold, isolated and dissatisfied with life choices, she is also in a sexual rut as she cannot have sex with the man she truely loves but has an emotional affair with him.. Ok..I have been having writers block for quite awhile and my friends think that that is attributed to the fact that I am too involved with my character and it is manifesting in my own life. SOOO.. They reccommended that I have a harmless online fling, not phone sex that gets me off, but an actual romance online/or with the guy I have been dreaming of, not necessarily to have sex but to distract me from isolation and frigidness and to become involved in another aaspect of relationship... What do you think? Do you think a harmless online romance will fan the flames of fantasy and get me going again, or should I call my friend and have a harmless, tangible romance with him? I mean it couldnt hurt right and I just might need something like this (bitter sweet drama) to spice up my writing not to mention my life...
Well I do appreciate your opinion...meanwhile Im starying away from the phone heheheh
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/02/05 @ 23:13
Haven't ignored your question, Ice. It was him. I know casual sex is about that and nothing more, but he peed me off big time and I won't take crap - even if the sex was great. One door closes, another opens...
I can't sleep, which is why I'm up philosophising at almost 1am Melbourne time. Maybe I need that new door to open up sooner rather than later... bring it on!
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 07:45
Writing down the bones by Natalie Goldberg
you might find it at your local library and if not its not expensive to buy.
Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 11:05
Juji.. I have to say that I admire your ability to be with someone on a casual level. I tend to get clingy and "fall" really easily. But even though you are in a casual realtionship I would hope that my partner would treat me with as much respect as at least a good friendship. You are absolutely right to not take shit from anyone - not a casual fuck buddy or a boyfriend .. the way I see it, dicks come a dime a dozen...
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 14:00
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 14:02
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 15:13
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 15:36
Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 16:10
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 16:58
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 18:24
Casuals work for me if I don't love them. I can like who they are, or even love them as a person, but not as a heart-to-heart partner. If the lines start to get crossed, and a relationship's not a goer, I'm outta there preety quick before it gets messy. My last two fb's were gret in bed, but one was dumb (sweet, but too dumb for me - which was safe 'cos I'd never fall in love with him). The other, I'd been in love with for years, but got over him when I reaized I didn't really like the person he'd become. As adults, we both acknowledged a) the need for sex and b) the no-future status of the relationship, so it worked great till the person he'd become started to mess with me. To me sex is sex - it doesn't have to come with all the rest. The combination of the two (sex and love) is the ultimate, and while the guy I've got my heart set on runs from closeness through fear, I simply need to keep myself occupied in the meantime. It ain't perfect but it seems to work for now.
Profile of the week? Don't understand...
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 18:31
Do you think that maybe you are picking one of the two (sex love) and not settling for both - I mean why do we have sex?
Again not making judgements hjust tryingto see what Im missing
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 19:32
I don't need for the guy to stay to know I matter. I already know I matterr. That lies in me, not in another's confirmation - although that's nice when it happens too. It's also a way of honouring myself and my needs - whether they be sexual or otherwise.
Sex can be sacred and beautiful - another book recommendation: Aphrodite's Daughters: Women's Sexual Stories and the Journey of the Soul, by Jalaja Bonheim. It removes a lot of the crap we associate with sex and elevates it to the status it deserves to be. Very freeing.
What's wrong with animalistic urges? I reckon unrestrained, expressed passion - whether it be in our art, work, sex, cooking, whatever - is really living.
Having said all that, casual sex only, without being open to love, can be lonely and isolating. I enjoy the former while I wait for the latter. I'm open to both.
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 20:23
When I say animalistic urges Im thinking, nit passion so much but that for someone to just have sex and then continue on without relationship, fellowship, companionship..
I have had an animalistic fuck where it was pure fucking and a great time but it was with someone I was having a relationship with...but ultimately the way I feel is how you summed it up, I'm just thinking that casual sex can be very lonely and isolating...
Like I said, I myself am very immature, a bit old fashioned and very restrained when it comes to alot of things about sex. I'm alot of fun in bed, its just that if I get with someone, they have to be emotionally prepared to give me what I need because alot of what I need in sex is actually mental...
But I will read that book because maybe I need to free myself of alot of crap when it comes to sex...seriously...
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 22:00
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 22:25
I have been in and out of the site but have been kind of like Lizalicious on the silence end. But you guys never fail to come up with the werdest shit. Who comes up with these topics anyways? if its a constant here I have to say that I again have to go with Ice on this.
Why would you want to have sex with folks withot having an emotional attatcment with them? Is it for physical gratification because I understand what Ice means when she says animalistic -like animals, no connection just fuck and walk away. Would you say Juji that you feel good about yourself when youre up at 1am in the morning philophosizing because your f buddy is gone? You wouldnt care if it was casual, so on some level you are actually likeing these men- You cant just fuck somebody and not feel anything for them, you might as well get paid for that.
I dont care what book you say to read, no one can influence you that free sex is the way to go. It cant be good for your self esteem,it cant be good for the way people think about you, or the way men would treat you. I know you say it with with much passion and actually on some level believe that but I think that on the inside you have to be very lonely, very hurt and very isolated. You seem like a fun person, attractive and very personable, why not look for someone who can give you both (sex and love ) as opposed to hoping for the better. What guy is wanna be with a girl whos free sexing other people?
And Ice you should know better than to let people influence you into doing shit. Whats wrong with being old fashioned and setting standards for sex and yourself. So youre a little tight assed about shit I dont think that not understanding casual sex is immature at all. I think that there are not alot of people that set enough tandardds for themselves, its admirable that you held off the sex for so long, but you cant just sit there and say that maybe you need to free your self of crap.. the crap is the shit you are about to read. Thats the problem with the world today. Every body got something to write about. Write a book about why casual sex is the way to go and market it so that young people read it, fuck every Tom dick and harry and then wind up on the Maury Povich show, needing a DNA test to find out who your baby daddy is. I think Ice dont need to be reading that book. Maybe you need to read books on how to have meaningful relationships sexual and non sexual and how good things come to those who wait. I dont mean to come down on nobody but I mean there is alot to be said about telling someone to read a book about freeing up besides every one knows aphrodite was a hoe who fucked around on her husband and got caught, and caused alot of shit bu medelling in the affairs of Alexandros and Helen of troy in the Trojan war. So later for that shit.
I mean however you swing you swing you know,I m just saying - its better to itch your own pussy in private than have a stream of casual men itch it for you and then you still left with unsatisfied because while your pussy is filled, your heart is still empty. Ya know.
Comment by shari [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 23:11
I guess I just in a way wish that I could be mentally free to not become too atatched to people -
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/03/05 @ 23:56
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/04/05 @ 02:41
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/04/05 @ 13:56
Hey, now this if fun! Great to hear from you Shari. It's been a while and always great to hear different viewpoints.
Whether casual sex in itself is okay or not is up to the individual, so i won't launch into a great discussion about the right or wrong of it. I will clarify a few points about me though.
Being up at 1am was due to working a 12-hour shift in a place I choose to work at beacause of my love for an alternative chiropractic clinic, its clients and the people running the business, and then not being able to wind down afterwards.
Good sex with carefully selected individuals is great for my womanhood and self esteem - it's alive, fulfilling and gets all my creative energies going, which I then generate into my writing and other areas of my life. I have lots of loving relationships in my life so I'm not deprived in that department. Love comes from life generally and all sort of relationships - not just sexual ones.
I don't have a string of casual men, but if that felt right for me, that'd be the way I'd go. Lots of men is emotionally complicated and very dangerous healthwise. My fbs have always been very carefully selected guys who I know and trust, and the connection we've shared has been fucking almighty.
I am, however, getting bored with this topic. I think I'd rather be having casual sex. Each to their own. What can I tell you, except to say that the amount of drama and crap we attach to the most natural and beautiful act in the world does your head in, and I've let go of a lot of it.
PS. I have the most fantastic new hair do, went out dancing last night, and loved the way it flicked and bobbed and bounced around. Feelin' very flash and glam at the mo. Juji x
Comment by Juji [Member] — 11/04/05 @ 15:42
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/05/05 @ 21:06
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/05/05 @ 22:23
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/05/05 @ 22:35
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/05/05 @ 23:29
Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 11/06/05 @ 02:19
Comment by icequeen [Member] — 11/06/05 @ 03:06