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Straight Up

08/01/05

Finalists and Fantasies

Filed under: Life — Hawkwind @ 06:52:21 pm

First i just wanted to say thank to everyone who sent e mails and applications for the female blog position. I know it took us awhile and we're not done yet, but i appreciate everyone being so patient. so weve narrowed the finalists for the blogging position down to 5. They are Linzalicious, Nix, Monika, Xtrashorty and Linds. You can go check out their profiles on the site. There were a bunch of really good applicants, but these 5 stood out to us here a Friendsation. I want to encourage everyone else to keep blogging and responding to others here. The discussions have been really fucking funny as of late.

So basically these 5 women will be contacted by me over e mail and they will be asked to post one more blog in response to my story below. I'd like you to tell me what this story means about myself. There has been some really interesting sex and dating advice, but you gotta be funny too. Next week well decide who gets the job.

We'll also be hiring other writers on various topics so if you have something cool you want to write about send me a message and well figure it out.

ok so everyone has fucked up fantasies right. I wonder if mine is any different.

Ive always had this fantasy that I would meet a really beautiful woman. She would have to be really smart and cool and really tall and good looking. Shed also have to be really fun to hang out with. Wed go out to bars and shows and Id get along with her friends and shed get along with mine and wed kinda be the envy of our group. Since wed both be tall and good looking, everybody would notice us wherever we went. I wouldnt be in love with her and she wouldnt be in love with me. Everyone would think we were though. Itd be really laid back and if we screwed around on each other itd be out of town and we wouldnt ever try to make the other person look bad. Itd be like friends with benefits but we would have such a great time hanging out that wed spend most of our time together. Maybe wed even move in with each other. Then out of the blue she would be diagnosed with cancer or MS or something else bad. Anything terminal would do as long as it wasnt contagious. That would suck if I got it too. So anyway she has this debilitating disease and shes probably only gonna live for like another year. I could take that Ive been in relationships for that long where I wished I was dying. Anyway so everyone knows shes sick and they would feel really sad for her cause like oh shes so young and she has her whole life in front of her but they would feel even worse for me cause theyd think that I really loved her and as bad as it is to die at a young age its got be so much harder on me because Im so in love with her. So the next few months are spent waiting on her hand and foot. Taking trips to places she always wanted to go and just living life to the fullest. I would even take off weeks at a time from work just to be with her. People would come by to see her and offer support and then when they were alone with me they would tell me how sorry they were and ask how I was holding up. Id say fine ya know just taking things one day at a time.

So long story short after about 8-12 months she passes away and she have a big funeral and all of our friends and her family are there and we talk about how special she was and people ask me how I’m doing and they say “if you ever need anything just let me know??

I go home take few weeks off, put things in perspective and go back to work. After a few days some friends of mine take me out to our favorite bar to cheer me up. Were not even there for 5 minutes before all these super hot chicks start coming up to me and telling me how sorry they are for my loss. I tell them its ok and that they can sit down if they want. We all end up getting shit face and I take like 3 of them home and bang the shit out of them at the same time. This goes on for like 4 more months and then I meet this really hot chick who happens to really like music and old cars and I tell her my story leaving out the part where I bang all the friends and she feels sympathetic for me cause her father died of cancer or MS or maybe shes just really nice. I don’t care. Anyway we end up going out I fall in love with her and ya know we live happily ever after.

Comments

  1. what the hell...you have way too much time on your hands or you must be related to Tom Cruise or something.

    Comment by nwgirl38 [Member] — 08/01/05 @ 20:00

  2. Jed, I've always imagined sexual fantasies as something similar to what you can find in the XXX section of your local video store be it giant orgies, nurses, cops, professor/student, and for the few peta-pervs, animal friendly?? Maybe that last one would require some heavy digging online but for the most part, I always thought that a fantasy should be something unlikely or unattainable. It's not everyday that you walk into your doctors office and take the "big meat injection" while the stand in nurse strips down and joins the "examination". So you don't have a typical fantasy but you might have something on your hands should Hallmark and Vivid come together for the MOW (Movie of the Week).

    Comment by KZalan [Member] — 08/01/05 @ 21:24

  3. thats a good one...I think he will need a few hours in his therapists office to fix that one out. Maybe a sex therapist.

    Comment by nwgirl38 [Member] — 08/01/05 @ 22:55

  4. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.

    Jed...say it isn't so. I'm not in the running? Seriously? Can I nominate myself for a wild card entree? Uh, this can't be happening!

    BLOG OR BUST-BLOG OR BUST-BLOG OR BUST. Blog or....PLEASE???!!!!!

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 01:31

  5. Having been on this site for a couple weeks now and receiving only e-mail from women in third world countries who want to marry an American but haven't the slightest grasp of English, I say -- you seem to be serving your target audience well with your five choices! :-)

    Comment by lastfreeamerican [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 02:38

  6. So Jed...Wildcard?

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 08:57

  7. Wow some of the applicants came as a shock to me! I thought for one Sparkleplenty would be a strong contender after all her topic on Merkins striked the longest blog response on the site... are we judging based on photos? Ooops didnt submit one. Well Im a bit bummed (ill admit)I didnt get chosen top 5 seeing that I was one of the dominant bloggers but all the more I get to really rag hard on Jed:) Ill echo that of lastfreeamerican!

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 11:22

  8. What Jeds Fantasy says about him:

    Basically from my point of view(barage of insults) Id say it sounds like you are a selfish jackass...think of it- through the whole plight of your tragic fantasy even though the girl is dying you want people to tell YOU how sorry they are for YOU like the whole time it was always "yea shes dyin too bad, HEY JED HOWS IT HOLDING UP CAN I DO ANYTHING FO YOU! - OK so 1. Youre selfish-
    Then 2. You are starving for attention! And the only way to get that attention was by riding the coat tails of a dying woman.
    3. PRENTENTIOUS AND FAKE: The whole scenario where you guys act like youre in love and show the world youre in love but really are not!
    4.The whole thing where she was everything you were looking for in a girl yet she still wasnt enough comes from..I think JED is AFRAID of a COMMITMENT which is why he has to kill off the girl in his fantasy even though she was perfect/or could lead back to number one where he kills her off after getting all the attention so it could all be back to him..
    that you just love yourself so much that you chose in your fantasy a woman who pretty much loved everything you loved..yet she wasnt good enough so you had to kill her off so that you would prevail in the end and then you go bang 3 chicks, I mean I think that you are so UNSATISFIED with somethng in your life, maybe YOURSELF , and you cant find satisfaction even if it was with something or someone perfect so you have to eliminate it...also that you are such a FUCKUP that you had to fuckup something that was perfect because you cant deal with having somethng good. Again as I said I deal with guys like JEd all the time:
    Your fantasy says to me that you are a selfish, pretentious fuckup, dying for attention,who doesent even think that he deserves anything good so he settles for shitfaced fucks instead of holding on to a good thing. Maybe its sad that you think you dont deserve it. But honestly maybe you deserve shitfaced trash girls because a nice good girl would be too good for you. Maybe you would treat her like shit and treat he shit faced girls better...well nice fantasy...just a little bit more insight on who you really are ...
    Also I think its sad that you get off to people calling you a pig, fuckup etc. It could also indicate the self loathing you feel for yourself - Of course I could be wrong.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 11:54

  9. OUCH OUCH AND OUCH! First of all I cant believe Shivanni didnt make top 5 blog (after reading the post above) I can see why:) Also Ouch on the last post but honestly I can see where she would get that from the fantasy and all this time JEd thought it meant he was in realtionships that long he thought he was dying lol..that was funny. I think Shivanni may have hit a few good points, selfish. attention starving, afraid of committment...Shivanni whats your fantasy lol...BTW I tried reading those other blogs and it was BBBBBBOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIINNNNNGG...Maybe Jed picked those because he didnt wnat to be out shined by stronger bloggers like sparkle plenty,tz4fun or my nominaee Shivanni- Thats my take..That would kind of confirm Shivannis analysis (selfish,attention starving etc.)

    Comment by shari [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 12:20

  10. My fucked up fantasy is that I was actually
    Superman's soulmate/nemisis... I'd be like his perfect girl, hed crush really hard on me and I him but at the same time I'm planning his demise, I'd also have superhero power where I'd look like Linda Carter(wonder woman) 20 years ago but have Super Girl's powers but Id be a nerdy vixen when I was around Clarke/Superman but he wouldnt know I was Super Bitch...anyways its not as fucked up but I think it meaNS That even though I may like/love a guy, I am always one for bringing him down...It could mean I like a good toussle, rough sex and being a super strong vixen/bitch..

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 12:40

  11. Check me out on the flip side brotha!

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 12:51

  12. WTF?

    Comment by shari [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 12:59

  13. the bad thing about superman is that he travells at the speed of light...if you know what i mean.
    also, who ever said jed was serious about his fantasy? who ever said that he isnt? when you assume you make an ass of u and me as my imaginary grandpappy used to say.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:17

  14. Speed of light is good for me as long as its super.. also Jed says in his blog "what does this story mean about myself"..the implication on my post to mean what Jeds story means about him from my point of view...like I said I could be wrong - also his fantasy has such intricate details, I am almost sure that at least one ounce of his fantasy reflects a part of him... sorry im harsh in my 'ass umption' I just cant imagine that post to mean about Jed, Jed is a great guy. I think imaginary grandpappy will agree with me on this one..

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:32

  15. i see what you mean more clearly now.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:42

  16. :)

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:46

  17. Hey do you really think that superman might be an incompetent lover?

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:47

  18. you know, i gave that some thought. the first thing i was going to say was do you really want to fuck someone who does an hours worth of fucking in a nanosecond? but then i realized that if it is in fact an hours worth of fucking it wouldnt matter if its an hour or a nanosecond, hell, it might even enhance the experience.
    the other possibility is that he takes on the role of world saviour and superhero of the universe (not to mention the cape and all the working out) due to issues regarding erectile dysfunction and social incompetence.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 13:55

  19. lol...I initially thought that the nanosecond would be fulfilling...I hurt at the though that superman could have erectile dysfunction. Also just think if he "came" it might blow me all th way to Timbuktu...but dont forget that in my fantasy i also possess super powers compatible with his so..Timbuktu might not be a bad place. :)

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:02

  20. maybe thats why he took the role of superhero. its his way to bear his curse. every time he fucks, as he begins to cum...BAM! kills the woman. after numerous decapitations due to blow jobs, holes in womens chests due to tittie cumming, obliterated lower intestines and other things i wont even mention he was consumed with guilt, which drove him to help the helpless of the world as a means to try and mend the errors of his cum.
    at least if he sees a comet hurling towards the earth all he has to do is lie down face up on the ground, masturbate, and aim it properly.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:07

  21. lmao.. that was fucking hilarious, yet hurtful...maybe Id fuck him as clark kent, but then hed still have super sperm... my gosh I dread to think of ny precious titties being blown to oblivion - God knows they're all I've got.. maybe spiderman might be a better prospect (Flah Gordon is out) But maybe Spidy is webby there and Im npt into a whole lot going on down there, which leads me to wolverine (hell no!) Dare devil- I dont want a man with a handicapp) whose left? the punisher (sounds interesting) Batman might be a good prospect though I ve nevr tried fucking upside down and do you reckon Robin could join us..though I think batman and Robin might be doing it together ... My Gosh should I fantasise about doing it with a woman...well what male superhero would be a good lover ?

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:17

  22. First, congratulations to all of the finalists. I am sure whomever is chosen will do a fine job being Jed's counterpart.

    Jed,

    Everything that you've written is about absence - the absence of love since you state "I wouldn't be in love with her and she wouldn't be in love with me," the absence of your partner through her death, the absence of commitment since your partner dies very early on in your relationship. Yet, doesn't seem to be an absence of compassion in your response to your partner's illness - you care for her and comfort her. You continue to take care of her until her ultimate death. But then you capitalize on her death by being with her friends...Argh! Could it be that the honesty of a true relationship is too overwhelming for you to imagine? Could it be that you are afraid of your own emotions coming through but the short term appeal of being with someone who is dying can serve to mask your true feelings of wanting to be with someone long term? I think you are afraid of commitment. Afraid of rejection. In your partner's sickness and eventual death, you gain sympathy from everyone and support for your broken heart. Wait, that's it - you are afraid to have your heart broken. The death of a partner would of course lead to a broken heart, but that is through no one's fault. But to have a broken heart because - oh, let's say the girl left you - would be too real for you to deal with. Death may be real, but acceptable pain when compared to the pain and reality of having someone leave you. What a bruise to the ego that would be! Too much so for your liking. You won't let anyone in enough to have even the possibility of getting a bruised ego. Stay aloof. In your mind it's much better in the long run. No hurt. No pain. But no love either. You need to allow yourself the possibility of getting hurt in order to experience love. Sometimes love sucks. But sometimes love is grand. But either way, you know that you are alive through the experience of love - that is of course unless or until you get cancer or MS or some other debilitating and deadly non-transmittable disease that ends your life...But at the end of your life, you'd be able to say to all those sympathizers around to support YOUR partner, "At least I knew love!" As you heart stops beating and your pulse becomes thready.
    OR - you could just be a shallow, self-effacing, women hating, ego driven wad of a human being!

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:33

  23. lol..welcome back sparkle..that is good..really good..I think Jed was saying that in his fantasy that they didnt really love each other (just pretending) so maybe in his fantasy his caring is a pretense also to achieve attention(Oh poor Jed he seems to really care for dying girl who is afflicted with.. what the hell even Jed dosent know what shes dying of lol) OMG you're right sparkle... maybe Jed was probably hurt by someone in the past(maybe the one that got away) and because he cant have her he dosent give a damn.. poor Jed.. his poor little heart got boken..though i would like to thnk he is more of the shallow self effacing person you described ..interesting analysis

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:50

  24. Oh my gosh! Do you people do anything all day. WTF mate?! (That's for you Tinkerbell). Like I'm some goddamn foreigner who can't speak English Mr. Lastfreeamerican. FUCK YOU! Cause y'all are so fucking perfect. And who the fuck cares? It's not like you're getting paid for it, so who cares...find some freelance job where they pay you to write stupid comments bitches!

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 14:56

  25. If anyone has actually read Jed's profile, he claims to be a widow - so doesn't that make anyone wonder how much of the story is true and how much is - as he says - fantasy? Most fantasy is an outgrowth of reality. Even fairytales told to children have some basis in reality. Here too I think that there is more reality that Jed's letting on.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:01

  26. P.S. SparklePlenty - That was good and thank you for being nice about it, cause it's just a blog. You're awesome!!!

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:01

  27. tough question. they all seem either too strong, too fast, too duty driven or too homosexual to be good lovers for women. besides, colored spandex? do people still get turned on by the 80's? never saw daredevil, and from what ive heard im glad.
    as for female superheros (since i am a male) they might be physically attractive and might fullfill a fantasty or two but as far as being Mr(Mrs really) catwoman or wonderwoman i dont think its a good idea. they all seem too obsesive and controlling, that overdriven sense of duty would be no different than militant baptism or islamism (if that is how you write it) not to mention your lack of superpowers would completely hand your balls to them on a platter. unable to complain about the most reasonable things for the rest of your life (because face it, youre not divorcing this one anytime soon)
    can you imagine pms issues too? holy jesus on a pogo stick.
    you might as well shove a giant zuchinni up your ass yourself and leave it there to rot.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:01

  28. Again ladies and gentlemen.. one of Jeds pick for the finalists....MayI add the "pay" she is referring to is the $250 oferred for the blogging position -so we see she's doing it for the money poor thing, really needs the money Hey she gets my vote...after all I do donate money to africa I could do my part domestically...As for me my job actually entails me working online 24/7 - again may I nominate the gracious sparkleplenty for this blogging position, she seems really articulate, educated and really good at analysis not to mention her subject matter did get the most postings, In my defense I have to say that I am too volatile to be head blogger but i also wasnt desparate for $250 or whatever the compensation stated on craigslist- ...again, this is a good reflection of what Jed looks for in a counterpart.. Rock on dude, first class all the way!

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:05

  29. lol Alex.. I may just hav to do that.AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGG Sparkleplenty, everytime I feel good at letting Jed have it you ruin it for me...Ok if that is the case about Jed being a widow ,I feel lower than pondscum...really bad.. I take it all back... arrrgggg... again I apologise to Jed for my barage of insults and I hope that Jed comes to realize that while you lose someone you love - and you thnk you could never love that way again...Fate surprises you.. Im a dumbass for not reading Jeds profile properly and I should burn n hell for my inconsiderate remarks.. Jed if thats the case - thank you for indirectly sharing that... and again for the 2nd time I aplogise...

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:13

  30. BTW sparkleplenty ..I think you gave these 5 girls the answer to Jeds blog question...In my book yure the winner

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:18

  31. sparkleplenty, you give good advice, but i think this might have something to do with why you were not picked
    "There has been some really interesting sex and dating advice, but you gotta be funny too."
    as good as your advice is there are no funnies in there, which does not matter at all when it comes to giving advice but apparently it does matter to the people picking bloggers for this site.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:23

  32. Sorry guys and ladies, I didn't think I was getting paid. That's why I couldn't figure out why you were all bummed by not getting picked. I thought I was just doing this for fun. So, NO I'm not doing it for the money cause I didn't know I would be paid. I hope I didn't offend anyone as some of you offended me by basically telling me I could not speak or write English, that I was boring, and that I had no business doing this. It was very hurtful and I'm really angry at work right now, so that was just a nice slap in the face to help the day along. I usually get along with people, but it's not nice when someone says these things when they don't even know me. Again I'm sorry for offending anyone, I really didn't know this was a paid blog, and I'm sorry if you hate me without really knowing me.

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:23

  33. Thank you Shivanni - and to the 5 finalists, dazzle us with your wit, charm and enthusiasm. The forum is yours to shine. I look forward to all 5 answers...

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:23

  34. Thank you alex2468 for your constructive criticism. But I believe I've been funny in a significant amount of prior posts...But this subject does not strike me as a knee slapping, topic of hilarity. But I look forward to hearing other people's side splitting take on Jed's losing his companion through death.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:26

  35. And I will aim for funny more!

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:27

  36. Jed,
    whatever I said in my original post and then post #28(about you) , i apologise, I do feel like dog shit, from like a very large dog, i take it back -My sister is your age and just recently lost her husband who was a good friend of mine, though it was 3 years ago yesterday it affects her still in a huge way...if that is in part or in whole the scenario to which you were refering, I deal with her intense loss on a daily basis and it is heart wrenching,I'm publicly sorry and humiliated for being a dumbass.
    Shivanni

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:28

  37. Shivanni - I feel like in a way we are similar. I mean I said some really mean things cause I was having a bad day at work. It's a free country and we all have the right to say whatever we want. That is really cool that you get to be online for your job seeing as I'm really not supposed to be doing all this right now, but I'm kind of bored today. You would have been an awesome counterpart and I'm sure there was another door that's opening for you. I've read the other posts and I'm already sure I'll be right where you are when this is all said and done. :) You're awesome.

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:34

  38. dont get me wrong, im not saying that you should be. sometimes hilarity just has no place in the current situation, that is why it struck me as odd that even though there are people who gave much better advice, at the moment of picking 5 finalists they were not taken into consideration due to un-funny-ness. but then again it does not say they are being picked to give constructive relationship advice, just to blog as a counterpart to jed on a dating website.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:37

  39. Thank you xtrashorty for your generous comments.. Best of luck.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:40

  40. Very true alex. Hey, I'm the first person to admit that not only am I NOT funny, I'm also an idiot. I was very surprised that Jed even picked me. None the less, I'm having fun doing it - with or wihtout pay - and like I said, if you didn't get picked, it just means there is another door opening for you - believe me cause I've had plenty of doors slammed in my face recently.

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:42

  41. alex2468 - I whole heartedly understand your point and will try to encorporate more humor - for my own benefit - cause it is interesting to me to see what I come up with! Like an internal testing system.

    Don't cry for me FRIENDSATION - I will be alright and will live to blog another day!

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:44

  42. I myself am a bit blogged out. For once I have nothing to say. Sparkleplenty I think youre hilarious via dry sarcasm and the innocence and honesty of your posts..dont change - alex...you do give good advice, too bad youre not a woman Id have to chose between you and sparkle-

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:56

  43. Even though I didn't make the cut I was going to blog on the topic anyway...so here I have been sitting for, about 22 minutes unable to type. Unable to follow how you can have one perfect love and in the end you find another but somewhere in the middle you have to bang 3 super hot chicks for a few months? Its not that easy to follow and doesn't sound much like a fantasy to me as my panties are bone dry. So I thought I'd help you out and write two alternate endings for you...one you can enjoy and one us women can enjoy. Ready?

    Okay I mean your way could happen I suppose but does, a sweet, beautiful young woman have to get a fatal disease and kick the bucket for you to find Mrs. Right? I was rooting for your wife!

    How about this Jed..lets say your wife, "dying" of MS lets say, fakes her own death cuase she feels like she is holding you back. She feels that you shouldn't have to live your life in slow motion while you wait for her to kick of. Out of love and devotion and the sheer desire to make you happy this superpower of a brave woman fakes her death.

    I'll still allow you to find your new car loving girlfriend through the sympathy route if you like...where everyone thinks your this wonderful man injured doing the honorable thing in tending to you wifes disease.

    You date and fall in love with your new chick and things seem perfect. Suddenly like the attention seeker you are, you get bored with how comfortable your new relationship has gotten. You start to miss various thing about your ex's sexual technique etc etc. You decide to find the freak in your new girl and pull her out by...

    {okay here are the two endings)

    A) Booking a trip to a Hedonism resort in Jamacia. You're relaxing and sipping drinks on your balcony when your new chick bursts in the door and says she has found this ultra hot hot woman to join you guys for a night cap. You get all excited, splash on the Old Spice and fluff yourself a little so you look like a stud when this woman arrives. Suddenly, a knock at the door and low and behold it's your wife. You are in shock and filled with nostalgia and questions but you keep quiet. Your new girlfriend has no idea because you've never shown her photos of the ex, too painful. Anyway you and your ex are locking eyes and exchanging looks of anger and confusion but at the room lust. Here eyes turn from yours onto your girlfriend...she still loves you and is jelous of your girlfriend. She focuses the many emotions and proceeds to do things to the two of you that you can't even concieve of. The two women you've loved are fucking eachother and you and its amazing. You all fall asleep and when you wake up...she's gone.....again.

    NOW THE ENDING FOR US WOMEN....

    B) You decide to sign you and your new wife up on a swingers website. At your very first swingers party you notice your ex in much the same way as the hedonism resort only this time your ex is having sex when you see her with someone else. You are filled with rage and jelousy...and wonderment. How could she leave you on her own free will after how wonderful you were to her? You watch her fuck a stranger the same way she used to fuck you and right then she notices you to. With eyes lock you begin to screw the new girlfriend in time with the ex...your picturing her...wanting it to be her. The nights events are dying down you've had sex with 20 maybe 30 stangers but never made it to your ex. Just as your about to pack up the car and go...you see your wife waving you to come to her...she's ducked behind a tree. There are no words exchanged before the two of you beging to kiss...she's pulling at your zipper and your throbbing to greet her. She wraps her lips around you and you close your eyes in complete amazement. Its warm and familiar and like a movie reel all the memories flood your mind....her soft skin her perky breast....your completely turned on that she is in this place with you and just as you're about you cum....she wraps her fingers around your sack and gives a gentle squeeze....wait the pressure is building and it's starting to borderline hurt you...maybe its some kinky tantra thing....oh god no, it fucking hurts! Your ex suddenly pierces you ball bag with her perfectly manicured fingernails...she twists and pulls until your flesh is hanging, dangling like wilted spinich. You can't breathe...you look down at her in horror just then she slides her mouth to the base of your cock and bites down and pulls away as if she was curling the ribbon on a brightly wrapped present.

    Every moron knows MS doesn't kill you in 6 months it simply makes you slowly lose control of your voluntary response...you get uncoordinated...i.e.rickety knees, stiff joints...and yes Jed, LOCKJAW!



    2) So you

    So she does it, she fakes her own death and now you are

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 15:57

  44. tz4fun...those could be real movies...ones a porno and the other is a horror flick where the woman wins - good job!!! :)

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:01

  45. ok now I dont feel too bad - still terrible but less tramatized.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:05

  46. In all fairness to Jed, three finalists were picked by Jed and three were selected by me. One of the finalists we both picked the same one. The decision was based on style of writing, humor, personality, and if it complimented Jed or opposed. There will be other blog opportunities and I really love the way everyone writes...so please do not take it personal. The site is only in its beta phase and there will be many opportunities in the future for multiple voices to be heard. Shawnee.

    Comment by nwgirl38 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:07

  47. PUT ME IN COACH!!!!!! I'LL BLOG TILL THE COWS COME HOME!!!! And while I'm bummed out, I don't think the 5 chosen ones are undeserving....just wish it were me.xoxo

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:20

  48. Shawnee:
    I was a bit curious and I dont want to be out of line here, I read the blogs and while in my opinion some blew!and some rocked! I would think that the contestants should be monitored on how they interact with the forum..(which immediately eliminates me anyways:) we learnt today that not all contestants could handle scrutiny and critisms, given certain elements ..say a bad day, opposition to subject matter, egos of other writers... just an observation.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:30

  49. Shawnee - she's right, I was way out of line, just a bit offended. I'm having fun regardless of who you two choose, so if I'm automatically eliminated for being offended I completely understand.

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:35

  50. No, I don't think anyone was way out of line...everyone is entitled to voice their opinion and it is an open forum. The blog advice column is for everyone...and should appeal to a mass group. Humor is important to me...because sometimes life really does suck in a very big way and humor is what gets you through it.

    Comment by nwgirl38 [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:38

  51. extrashorty please dont take personal- really I meant all of us as conestants - trust me extra shorty if you read my blogs my profanity makes you look like mother Theresa...so I see know reason why you should be eliminated..I chose to be crass and profane cause Im an ass...I really am..but I loved this site because we can be asses if we want to and we can express how we like so, I know youre not going to be eliminated for that I just think that maybe ...they should throw all you guys out into the fishpond and see who survives :0
    lol... extrashorty of all people I understand after all I have apologized to Jed 2 times (for somone who rarely apologises) I just wanted to suggest a fight to the death.(for bonus points) ..just a suggestion -

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:42

  52. You like to see blood I bet...boxing fan??? j/k you're funny

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:53

  53. I do like a good match...love boxing.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:55

  54. :)

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:56

  55. If that were the case though, I'd probably lose, seeing as I apologize for everything...when it comes down to it I'm a wimp

    Comment by xtrashorty [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 16:56

  56. I rarely apologise, but in both cases specified pertaining to Jed I was totally out of line on one and the other I was irresponsible (and commented without taking the time to connect the info) While Im an asshole, I am woman enough to admit when I am wrong and take responsibility for it...stop aplogizing already...its good to have a mean streak, if you dont people will always take advantage of you..

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 17:02


  57. To all the bloggin' babes selected, a big congrats. To those of you lamenting, ragging the selection process and...I cringe to even write it, begging, GET OVER IT! It's making me puke.

    Are you not talented, creative and skilled? Don't you have the writing skills to land other great fun jobs? Rejection's a part of life and, giving this is a dating website, I thought you'd know that by now. You can wallow in self pity, attack and blame the whole nasty world around us, accuse people of just being in it for the money (dunno about you, but I need to eat!) or you can hold onto your dignity and believe in yourself enough to take a knock on the chin AND GET BACK UP AGAIN. Honestly!

    The stuff I've read you guys write makes me laugh and think. Your whinging makes me yawn!

    As for Jed, your fantasies need some definite spicing I reckon. I mean we're all entitled to our fantasies, but can't quite see how this one gets you all excited.

    Maybe it's something about living a dual life - making out to be the nice, apple-pie sort-a bloke everyone loves on the outside, but being a trio-fucking - scoundrel on the inside.

    I can just imagine it - out for dinner with your girlfriend's perfect parents, talking smooth drivel about how you were duxe, how college is everything you ever dreamed of, how one day you'd like to share the plight of the Ethiopian's, live amongst and administer vaccines in a voluntary capacity. Trouble is, at the same time, your greasy paws'd probably be very comfortably stuck up their precious daughter's vj under the table cloth.

    You rogue!

    I wonder if we all have a bit of trio-fucking-scoundrel in us if we dig deep enough. Here's to unleashing some of those demons!


    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 18:28

  58. It never fails to surprise me Shivanni - Why do you apoloize, Jed asked to be told what it meant, he didnt ask for you to be kind, he never said refer to profile. I never really go into detais about profiles. Whos whining, I think they are just discussing...you know a bunch of writers in a forum, someones gotta talk shit but as far as I could read it was in good fun.. I dont think sny of these ladies were in it for the money..
    Jed has issues. Shivanni althugh you aplogized to Jed I still think you were right on with your idea of what the post meant. If Jed thought he would be offended by your post he wouldnt have posted that subject matter...Juji I agree with you that Jed needs regular fantasies..
    I also like the idea to put all the finalists in a blog pit to see how they would do hehehe.

    Comment by shari [Member] — 08/02/05 @ 19:03

  59. Juji, not sure if your comments were directed at me but just to calrify I was not "begging"....most definately not. I'm happy for the girls that got picked...hell yes I am upset to not be one of them but I'm perfectly happy to offer to help out writing for another area of the site. I'm not ashamed to show passion for a job I want. Further more, I want to point out I have never copped an attitude or bitched or whined to anyone here...my theoretical ending for Jed were suppose to make everyone laugh and to score points with my fellow divas on the site. All in good fun no need to tell us we make you puke.....

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 02:58

  60. I can see I may cop a lot of flack over my comments - but it's okay, 'cos I can take it - I have enough faith in myself - and that's what I'm trying to remind the disappointed bloggers. To have faith in yourself. What I also said was that a lot of what I read was creative, well-written, funny and entertaining. Did you hear that? Your writing is well-written, funny and entertaining, regardless of whether it matches the particular need of a potential employer or not. Have you really taken that on board? My intention is not to harm or upset anyone - quite the opposite actually. My intention is to remind you of what you have and trust in it enough to know that great opportunities will come your way - if you believe in yourself. Disappointment's normal, so I'm not saying don't feel and express it.

    Jed also said some really positive stuff about what we'd written in the blogs - but did anyone take that on board, really hear it and let it lift their spirits, or were we too busy burying ourselves under the misery of a weighty blanket of anger and disappointment?

    Stand tall girls. We are amazing!

    Well, that's enough philosophising from me for one day. I've got some more writing to get on with. And maybe, even maybe, we can turn the experience on this blog into some great ideas and fodder for other stories.

    Onward

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 04:47

  61. Yeah I heard all that...I appreciate the comments. I love to write and I think because I love it, it allows me to write in a really natural tone. And I have a dry (someone dark humor, I wouldn't wish fatal diseases on my loved one but I was able to laugh at that!) I take rejection really well in the writing arena for the reasons you mentioned. There are tons of places to write....I'm continuing to blog here for the hell of it, cause I enjoy the banter. And while, I know that I'm not without talent here and my ego doesn't need stroking, thank you for complimenting my stuff.

    Ah so, I didn't get the role, so with faith in hand, I expressed interest in some other areas.

    Fingers crossed, I'll be here yet. Just don't want to be made out as this whiny pouty baby and I agree with you that some people took the news pretty hard. Making the winners feel bad....if thats not a poor sport I have yet to see one! I think people just take it personal cause writing can be personal. Also, I think some people try to create drama on here so they can write with conviction...perhaps in their mind improving their chances.

    To the fab five....you go! We all are envious and looking forward to getting familiar with your presence here. I know I for one with be there to bitch, laugh AND contribute.

    Sunny days....sweeping the clouds away....friendly neighbors, well moderately friendly neighbors anyawy. You get the point!

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 08:44

  62. Where is everyone today?

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 10:05

  63. i was on my way to work until now, sleeping before then, driving back from granite falls before that, hanging out at the in laws house before that, driving to granite falls before that, driving home before that, at work and blogging on here before that.
    how about you?

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 11:26

  64. haha ..I find it interesting. I dont think I was whining! Eveyone here knows I cuss way too much to be in the running, Im volatile (part of my charm) Im an ass but Im not stupid- I enjoy that we all had something to share about not winning but it shouldnt be catagorized as whining, its human nature to think aloud, why? how? what the fuck? I think we are all adults and know the measure of our writing-while I personally appreciate the sentiment - I really dont think that we need encouragement to carry on! I think we are not (and this is based on the private conversations Ive had with others on this forum) we are not so much disappointed as we are shocked..but thats what we do, we are writers we express ourselves. So how about we cut the thread on this feel so sorry for you guys bullshit and talk about things that really matter ... like what the fucl alex was doing at the laws house? lol

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:18

  65. they are babysitting my son until today because his babysitter had surgery and took some time off. i was visiting him for a couple of hours. so much for mystery and we need to find a new topic. any suggestions?

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:32

  66. Didn't he say "at the in laws house" - as in, he's married...

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:36

  67. i agree...oh btw..I think back to the superhero subject what appealed romantically to me in regards to that fantasy is that maybe it wouldnt be about sex for me. I dont really take sex that seeriously anyways I am more a romantic person, so I think thats why I really like the whole perfect man minus the sex aspect ..

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:36

  68. oh..lol..sparkle.. im just dragging my ass off the bed..not quite alert yet

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:37

  69. Also I was reading this book last night called love letters (letters written by writers to their betrothed in the early centuries) it just made me realize that I do not belong to this century.. I am more a Renassiance woman

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:39

  70. how can one take sex seriuosly considering pussy farts, muscle cramps, the "oh, youre on my knee" lines and all those other akward moments that make sex real and not fantastical? :P

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:40

  71. you know back in those days the standard of female beauty was a plumper, curvaceous woman rather than the q-tip with cotton balls on either side that is held now?
    it appears to all be in the mind.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:41

  72. that just adds insult to injury lol

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:41

  73. Presently sex is an act to me..I have a pussy and I can do it...its like shopping, I hav money I can buy- but what saturates my underwear (too graphic?) is some ggod romance... the unbelievable shit. I find lately I have to be the one to improvise, but all the more as long as the fantasy is completed it dosent matter after all Im doing it for me...

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:44

  74. eg..
    Carry me off into the blue skies of tender loves, roll me in dark clouds,trample me with your thunderstorms, break m in your angry rages, but love me, my adored lover...
    that was written by Sarah Bernhardt(french actress) to Jean Richipin(French writer)
    If I could get a man that thinks like this or shit writes shit like this ..man I will write hot checks for that guy!

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:48

  75. is that too much to ask?

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 12:50

  76. hahah..that is funny..girll dont nobody talk like that no more hhahah..you need to probably date some geek college professor or english student ..thats funny because your personality is so harsh that it shocks me you would lie that kind of shit...

    Comment by shari [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 13:12

  77. im not being mean or nothing but it comes as a surprise to me shivanni - you would probably say "wow, thats a fucking bad ass poem, thats the shit... thank you." and then ruin the moment hahhaah I could see it now

    Comment by shari [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 13:15

  78. thanks for your vote of confidence :0

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 13:17

  79. Interestingly - I think I have the same book that you are speaking about Shivanni with love letters. BIG white book with black writing? All love letters of famous authors? It is a beautiful edition if it is the book I think it is. And yes, very romantic.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 13:30

  80. Yes sparkle I also have the red book with fragments of letters on parchment paper very romantic..

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 15:29

  81. I'm not sure if I am familiar with that book - but it sounds lovely.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 15:33

  82. it is.. damn the forum is kind of dad without our bantering lol

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 15:42

  83. I meant dead my e on my keypad gets stuck

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 15:43

  84. So it would seem...And soon, even deader - or dader - because I am leaving for the day...

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 15:47

  85. i leave for a bit and see what happens? nobody talks. well....about that....here is some more typing...
    a guy i met told me this once:
    "my grandma told me when i was little 'never settle for anything less than what you are looking for' thats why im still single"

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/03/05 @ 16:03

  86. jed is clearly a fucking idiot... why comment on it? oh wait! i just did!

    Comment by just some dude [Visitor] — 08/04/05 @ 03:41

  87. I'm wondering where the other 2,049 friendsation members are? I mean, are you reading this now? Do you just kinda follow it, big brother like, happy to observe? Or do you have the urge to write something? Have you started to write something, erased it, started again, but then decided not to hit the Say It button? While it's all been lots of fun, the more the merrier I reckon and, if Jed's trio-fucking scenario is anything to go by, I reckon he'd agree.

    This little blog's one where anyhthing goes. You can say anything - all those private thoughts you can't say out loud for fear of giving folks a heart attack, you can say here.

    But back to Jed's little trio for a moment or, while I'm thinking about numbers, foursome actually. Would anyone care to share a story about screwing more than person at the same time?

    This intrigues me. I mean I'm imagining Jed with the three girls (and, no, the visual doesn't keep me awake at night). But I am wondering how many bits three sets of hands, mouths and vaginas can fondle, lick, kiss, poke, suck or fuck at any one time. (See, told ya you can say anything). Realistically there are only a limited number of bits, goddamm it.

    Is there something you're not telling us, Jed. Have you got more bits than the average bloke? Have you made it into the World Guinness Book of Records and, if so, specifically for what? Mmmm...the mind boggles.

    I'm not much of an expert when it comes to group sex, I'm afraid. Bit it's certainly got me wondering about something. I mean, in trying to keep all 16 limbs, 4 heads, 6 decent-sized breasts, 2 small innefectaul breasts, one solitary penis and saggy scrotum, 3 vaginas and, if you're into it, four arse holes all involved at the same time so no one feels left out ... do you reckon people get whiplash?

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 03:49

  88. Hey just some dude. Good to hear from ya. I was typin' and so were you. Got another name?

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 03:59

  89. porn is pverater to me - there is always the one girl that seems to be leeft out then I feel sorry for her and then I say to my television set, get her get her ..but they eventually do only for one fleeting second of airtime-poor girl, (shes usually the one with the 80's hairdo) anyways my point is if these guys are paid professionals with a script mind you- how does poor amateur Jed do it. I think that (and I am not going to be rude here, just thinking) maybe thats why its easy for him to smash drunk girls , theyre sloppy and chances are theyll forget in the morning lol. maybe he is a voyer, I cant seem to think that a drunk guy can smash..cum...smash cum...smash cum.. all before 3 drunk hoes pass out. Chances are he probably gets to 1 and a half before he passes out himself. I could be wrong ..Jed Maheu man of mystery- or it could just be his fantasy.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 10:02

  90. Sorry guys..now dragging my ass of the bed and cant type for shit... My first line is ...porn is overated

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 10:03

  91. Aren't we all part voyeur?

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 10:42

  92. i like cake.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 11:29

  93. lol.. I am a voyeur - but I like steak

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 11:56

  94. i've never watched other people having sex in front of me without a television involved. unless you count walking in on your parents but that is just disgusting. has anyone been unfortunate enough to walk in on their parents having sex?

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:01

  95. haha .. I thnk thats why my thoughts on sex is so fucked up. I have. It was gross, my mother is a screamer as am I sometimes when I find myself secraming in the throws of passion I say "my gosh i sound like my mother so I raise my voice an octave higher .. that was sick.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:05

  96. im thinking of changing my nickname because my company is currently negotiating a contract which involves me working with minors.. I cant possibly keep my name, talk the shit I do and work with kids.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:18

  97. hahahaha. that sucks. youre in the middle of sex, enjoying it at least on a superficial level, maybe more, when all of a sudden you think "shit, i sound like my mother" if your sexual libido was a truck it would come to a screeching hault at that moment. you attempt to raise your voice in hopes of escaping the memory...but it seldom works.
    worse part is i didnt walk in on them having sexual intercourse, i walked in on my dad going down on my mom. i dont know why but i think its even worse.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:19

  98. heres a funny question. when they caught you, what was their reaction?

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:19

  99. whats wrong with the nickname? i thought about it before asking, trying to find the dirty in it, but i feel im the only one missing it.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 12:21

  100. I'm 26 and the I have never pictured my mom n dad having oral sex till just NOW....im not going to sleep 4 a week. THANKS....

    Comment by tz4fun [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 15:03

  101. if i could have the whole world suffer with me i would. youre a start i suppose.
    :P

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 15:08

  102. ok Im back ..had an audition with a sucky band

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 15:25

  103. lol ALEX .. that is worst than walking in on sex.. omg... what did dad do? how could you face mom ? Are you good at cullinlingus (however thats spelt) now or does it affect you...hehh

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 15:27

  104. you are right about me, coming to a screeching hault when I thnk that I sound like mom in the middle of sex.. it then becomes a vocal lesson (which unnatural note sounds sexy) also moms a church lady so I just dirty words that way theres no similarity.

    Well my nickname is part of my real name. If I work with children I would hate that this forum comes to bite me back on the ass you know(as in she works with children and shes a voyeue who uses bad words. Also my posts are less than desirable for parents to accept...Ill have to come up with a name that is not synonymous to who I am also there are alot of Houstonians on this website and a I have gotten alot of "shout outs.." I really do need to change my name and believe it or not I am a little bit popular in the H-Town scene only because my company sponsors alot of programs.

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 15:33

  105. thats the funniest part about it. you want to know what they did? i walk into the bedroom and there they are. my mom is sprawled out on the bed, totally nude. my dad is fully clothed, with his face in between my moms legs. i think the angle they were at let me see pussy AND mouth, but i dont remember that part very well. im left standing on the doorway, dumbfounded. they noticed very quickly, fortunately. my dad looks up and he says to me "we caught you" as they get up.

    we.....caught you???

    youre nose deep in my moms pussy, i walk in and you are telling me that you... caught me? are you kidding me?!

    i didnt think much of the response at the time, but know thinking back on it that doesnt make much sense. im glad its funny to me and not sickening or damaging though.

    i dont think we ever talked about it. i do remember my mom asking me later why i had gone in there, i needed help putting an model aircraft carrier together.

    there you have it. someone beat that, it'll be a 'fun' game.

    so your mom didnt use dirty words? i guess "oh god...oh jesus....oh god.." actually applied to her.

    what is your new nickname gonna be?

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 16:28

  106. lol.. lmao.. that is the funniest thing I ever read.. youre probably gone for the day but for your reading pleasure...lol..on my mom crying out to God, blivee it or not I feel Jewish in saying that whe nIm having sex as in I do not utter or call upon the 'almighty' lol.. I guess cause deep inside I know what Im doing is sooooooo very dirttttyyyy lol... lets see, I heard this great banging echoing through the house, I must have been 6... I was scared, I think it was raining that night, I heard noises cuming :0 from their room, I thought omg theyr being attacked, killed, first I peeked in to the hallway and then i was so scared but I found my way to the hallway closet where I hid and listend to th death of mom as she was sreaming, 'please, please" Im like thinking.."dont kill my mom" I seriously thought that maybe they were like banging her head on the wall and that the wall was red with blood, my poor mom.." She was making whimpering sounds and Im thinking shes almost dead, so I get all the nerve I have inside me, run to the door, open it screaming mommmmmmyyy! Only to see my mom doggie style on the bed, my dad behind her and the bed post banging against the wall.. At the time I think I must have thought for a split second 'daddy was killing mom' in that moment of thinking, they both scrambled down (I think dad still in her as he fought to pull sheets over them. I stood there for a moment. I think I cried anyways, next moring we had a talk about that was wat grownups do wheb they love each other. Now I kno thats just a bunch of bullshit hahah

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 17:35

  107. Ill try being a superhero tomorrow

    Comment by Shivanni [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 17:38

  108. still here. funny story, "theyre killing my mommy!" haha. i dont know if getting a talk afterwards is a good or a bad thing.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 17:49

  109. Wow, so I had no idea the response to the finalist getting selected was so large! After reading all of your comments and blogs I would just like to say that I think all of you bring up very interesting points and are talented writers. I feel very lucky to be a finalist when I see how much talent is out there. I know that everyone has their own opinions about who should be selected to battle it out with our beloved Jed. I would just like to say that writing is all about expierience, and with that comment that if you're looking for someone thats had a life expierience I have. I've fallen in love. I've had my heart broken. I've lived in 4 cities this year. I've been on a reality show. I've landed amazing jobs and I've messed up in many situations. I had no idea so many of you communicated through this part of the website but I will definitely participate more. Its so awesome to hear everyones takes on dating and Jed. Read my blogs and leave me feedback. I love to write and would love to hear your criticism! :)

    Comment by Linds [Member] — 08/04/05 @ 17:52

  110. While I have never walked in on my parents in flagrante delicto, I have found myself in the unfortunate position of finding something in my mother's dresser that I wish to God I hadn't! Quite a number of years ago I went into my mother's side table looking for a needle and threat - which in and of itself is funny because I have no idea how to sew - but I digress...So in looking, I came across a copy of the book The Joy's of Sex. I was a bit startled by this because my initial reaction was that I thought this was MY book. I owned a copy of this very same book that I kept on a high shelf on a bookcase in my bedroom - I lived at home then. I became immediately excited that my mother had stolen my book and to make matters worse, while leafing through the copy, the pages were dog eared, the corners were bent on specific pages. Which of course I looked to see what pages were bent and was shocked to learn that my mother had selected pages pertaining to graphic sexual positions and even some speaking about fetishes. I was hard pressed to believe that my mother, but even more so than my mother, that my beloved father was a fetishist! Well, being ME, I decided I had no choice but to confront my mother about stealing my book. So, I called her at work and began yelling at her that she's a thief and that she is a pervert and that she should be ashamed of herself. She responded very simply that I should go check my bedroom shelf. I did. My copy was still there, where I'd left it. THIS was her own copy, one that she went out and bought for herself to spice up her lovemaking. Somehow that bothered me more. The very thought of it disgusted me. I couldn't imagine, nor did I want to imagine, MY PARENTS being sexual beings...It bothered me enough when my mother bought a suede mini skirt. MOM's don't wear SUEDE mini skirts. My world was topsy turvy. Nothing made sense. So I did the only thing I could do, which my parents and I have done a lot of over the years, put the book back into her side table and pretend it never happened.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 10:53

  111. Hey Guys its Shivanni ..like my new nickname (suits me fine) I thought of being a superhero and while the ice queen is a villian I like that she can kil people with the coldness that comes out of her mouth (hahha) so I becam the ice queen... Ill be in and out today. But Sparkle I like your story, I did own a copy of the Joys of Sex when I was 15 hahha It s a very large book.

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 12:22

  112. I was probably about the same age when this incident happened...
    I am assuming that the icequeen you are speaking about is the White Witch from Narnia? I loved those chronicles.

    Comment by SparklePlenty [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 12:32

  113. lol

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 16:12

  114. never read the joy of sex. tantra is an interesting discipline though. a lot more to it than standing on your head.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 16:30

  115. Hey everyone...been a while since I commented. Last time was waaaaay up there like #2! Anyway, been reading everyone's responses to Jed's fantasy but I find it odd that 3 out of 5 girls have responded and one (Nix) hasn't and the other Monika, (maybe she changed her nickname) doesn't seem to exist. But anyway, good luck to everyone or at least the people that have responded!

    Comment by KZalan [Member] — 08/05/05 @ 19:52

  116. Mmmm...terribly quiet on the blog station. Hopefully that means we've all been out having way too much fun or we're still nursing hangovers. I'm nursing a badly scraped elbow after taking a bit of a tumble - not a drunk and disorderly one though.

    I went roller blading with this guy who's really into it. I'm okay at it but hadn't been for a while so I was a bit rusty. I was absolutely terrified I'd go for some really inelegant tumble and look like an unco retard in front of someone I so badly wanted to impress.

    I made sure I looked super cool in my gear and bladed along nervously, but without serious mishap. I was so relieved to get back to the car with my dignity intact and my body still in one piece. All was going smoothly and we were hitting it off well. He's oh-so-cute! Standing beside the car, I was soooooo relieved not to have fallen. I felt like I'd survived some sort of marathon I'd been so scared. Safety at last!

    I then started stripping off all the protective paraphanalia I was wearing - wrist guards, knee guards, elbows and so on ...one by one, heaving sighs of relief as I went. Then all of sudden with no forewarning, my skates just shot out from under me all by themselves and I landed on my now unprotected elbow and then somehow on my arse. My feet were flailing wildly in the air with the weight of the blades and, although the memory of the embarrassing affair is somewhat unclear due to the tendency to wipe all horrendous experiences from our delicate psyches, I was probably yelling like a coyote.

    How the hell I ended up on my arse from a stationary position I'll never know. At least if I'd fallen in the midst of some death-defying blading stunt, I'd have some great 'I'm a fantastic dare devil' story to tell.

    I was quite disgusted with unfariness of the whole thing!

    And the moral of the story ... blades off FIRST, safety gear off LAST.

    Go to go now. My elbow's throbbing at the memory. But at least Steve, that's the cute blading guy, is still here to feel sorry for me and help me nurse it! And the bruising on my toosh too.

    Somehow, it ain't so bad after all.
    See ya!

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/07/05 @ 18:56

  117. How funny. I had a bit of a spill myself but it included Beer on my Bebe shirt lol..it was a great time - Tomorrow I have a 9:00 AM

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/07/05 @ 19:36

  118. ok my computer is not behaving today- I was saying I had a 9:00 am so I may be in and out, my most embarrassing thing on a date? I was so nervous meeting this guy and maintaining that Im a dating bitch rep that I lit my cigarette unsided down (wll tried to) He looked at me like I was crazy and Im wondering why I hav tobbacco in my mouth? I also opened at can of coke that day and it just exploded over him (not good) but Fate smiled on me and on that very same date we were eating popsicles at a park when his got stuck to his tongue (of course I laughed my ass off trying to understand what he was say "auker...auker!" Im like "what hahahhhahaahhhah what are you saying" untill like a min. later I figured put he was saying he needed WATER as in to pour it on the stuck popsicle and his tongue so it would detatch! It was hilarious.

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/07/05 @ 19:43

  119. sounds memorable.

    Comment by alex2468 [Member] — 08/08/05 @ 17:52

  120. So the forum is kind a dead..sparkleplenty is living it up in vegas and I am catching up on accounts that I procrastinated on partying, romancing and yes interacting with you guys... Ok so Ive heard of running with the bulls in Spain, and Gondolas in Venice, Carnival in Rio, Spiritual Experience in Tibet but tell me where is the most romantic spot in the world and whats there to do there ?

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/09/05 @ 15:20

  121. Mmmm...the most romantic spot...dunno...now that's an interesting one...I reckon, after much deliberating and mentally traversing the planet, that it'd have to be my G Spot...as for what do to there, leave it to your imagination

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/09/05 @ 17:47

  122. good one, I kinda was looking for somewhere that mayb Id onsider visiting in the future, as romantic as that sounds id have to pass, mayb somewhere with sand? lol

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/09/05 @ 20:11

  123. Glad to hear you'll pass. Apart from the fact I'm not into girls, even ones with cool new names, you're unlikely to find any sand - ouch!

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 08/09/05 @ 20:18

  124. lol.. glad to hear, now Ive had sand there many a times but that was during my sexcapades on the beach...oh those were goodtimes! Now sex on the beach has just become a fruity drink in a fancy glass..still makes for good times ..bottoms up.

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 08/10/05 @ 02:48

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