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Straight Up

05/15/06

Elimidate

Filed under: Life — Hawkwind @ 01:20:16 am

For the literally tens of people that read this column weekly i would like to update you on an intersting twist. The radio show companion to this column entitled "Cats and Dogs" has been picked up by a college station in the UK. Typical that America is slow to act(I'm looking in your direction slavery!) but hopefully this will lead to more opportunities to spread our unique and generally hilarious ideas around the world.

Last week my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. He basically just said
he was "Bored of looking at me." Now I'm depressed and don't know what to
do. How do you get over a break up? How long does it take?

I always wanted to be a detective or a criminal psychologist so, now is a
good chance to use my criminal profiling skills. From the way you make this
guy sound, he could easily be completely unaware of anyone but himself. The
fact that he used the words "bored" and "looking" suggest that he is really
vain. Also, people who get bored easily can have issues with commitment.

I think you are more depressed about the way he made you feel. Please
realize that he is going to make anyone he is close to feel like this. It's
not you. To get over a break up means that you have to deal with the
rejection. If you would have been smart enough and dumped him before he did
it to you, you would be fine right now. It's the fact that you let a loser
reject you. It's one thing to get dumped by a magnificant man, but by a
loser is harsh.

You have to get over it. It's not that big of a deal. If he was a good man
then maybe I could understand, but any dude who tells you that he is "bored
of looking at you" isn't even cool enough to be called a dick. In the mean
time, go get a tub of icecream and eat it all. Then, puke it up on a picture
of his face.

Typically the average time it takes to get over a realtionship is 1/3 of the time you were together. So in your case you're looking at about a year. What you need to realize though is that it's not about you. Women always think it's about them when we break up, cheat, or want to spend time apart from you.

The deal with most guys is that we need to feel very secure in our own lives(i.e. succesful) before we can spend any quality time with a woman. This guy is basically telling you that he is unhappy in his own life and not ready for a commitment. Look you got off easy. You could have gotten married and had kids before he decided he was bored with you.

Don't eat any ice cream. Join the gym and meet someone better.

Topic of the Week: What is the harshest way someone has ever broken up with you?

Comments

  1. You know, after a while, you might want to consider if maybe, perhaps, you are bored with yourself. I highly doubt it's the women. What, are you going to like get bored of your child too one day and be like, "I am sorry son, but I am bored of you as my son. I no longer want you as my son. You are just too boring. I don't like to look at you." I mean, come on. Get a grip. I am saying this to any man who would say or think that in general.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 05/15/06 @ 18:22

  2. This guy isn't worth the trouble. Anyone with half a brain who actually was in love with you would have found ways to make the relationship more exciting. Couple do fall into boredom mode sometimes and it's up to them to spice it up. As for the harshest way I've been broken up with, I was seeing a gorgeous guy who was struggling a bit with the monogamous, on-on-one relationship thing. He rang me one night, pissed as a fart, with all his mates yahooing in the background. I heard one of them say, No, we'll pay her with a credit card". So basically, he's out sleazing with mates and prostitutes. Now it that ain't a "I'm not ready for a relationship" comment, I don't know what is!

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 05/16/06 @ 16:45

  3. I'm starting to agree. Maybe dudes are jsut bored with themselves as opposed to their girlfriends. what a strange concept.

    Comment by Hawkwind [Member] — 05/19/06 @ 17:31

  4. yea, you might want to consider getting a new tatoo, or like getting your nipples peirced something cool like that. Also, you could get into bondage, I heard that is pretty exciting. they have secret clubs and stuff..no one will ever know.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 05/20/06 @ 14:24

  5. Sister, you should really thank your lucky stars for getting rid of this piece of batshit for you 'cos you could have never ever done it on your own. How on earth did you survive three years with such a guy ? I t really beats me. In short, you don't have to waste time trying to get over this thing but you'd do yourself some sense by revisiting you mental website, get your selection criteria revamped ...together with your goals and objectives.

    Comment by Smokies [Member] — 06/15/06 @ 02:06

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