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Juji's Blog


Kreepy Ken or Boogie Boarding Blaine?

Filed under: Posts — Juji @ 06:00:37 pm

Hey All, I read an article last week that made me want to slap Barbie twice around her air-filled head. The plastic princess is thinking about dumping bronzed toy boy, Blaine (see pix below) - a muscly, super hot, Aussie boogie boarder, for her old flame, commitment-phobic Ken. I reckon if you've been hanging around a dude in toy town for 43 years, and he still hasn't pronounced his undying love, albeit in doll speak, it's time to fling him outta the toy box for good.

Rumour has it Ken's aiming to win her over with some great new makeover that'll have her creaming her hotpants at the mere sight of him. Well, it'd have to be a complete bloody overhaul if you ask me.

Ken's schizophrenic personality changes over the years make my skin crawl. His '70s Elvis look is so smooth and smarmy, it makes me want to chew my own arm off or reach for an almighty sharp pair of shears. The '80s look is too clean cut, and I reckon he'd be boring as batshit in bed. I could never have a serious relationship with '90s Ken, 'cos I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough 'cos he looks like a friggin' clown and, as for millennium Ken, he's a meterosexual gone mad. I couldn't date a guy that spends more time and money on nurturing himself than me. Besides, he'd show me up. Millennium Ken needs a good dollop of manhood tossed in - he's far too pretty and I reckon my gay friends'd have him served up on a silver platter for breakfast, lunch and tea - and there wouldn't be much left of him, I can tell you.

What do you think Ken's new look should be? If you had him in your hot little paws and could do anything you liked to him, what would it be? I reckon he needs all the help he can get. And what about Barbie? Do you think she should take him back? And what would he have to do first?

I, being a die hard, beach-going Aussie chick who's well and truly over commitment phobes, lean towards Blaine, his blonde locks and hot bod - even if he is a tad shiny. What do you think?

(Scroll down for comments - yeah, I'm technologically chanllenged!) x


  1. The 70's ken looks like Elvis. The 80's version looks like my dad. I have no comment for the 90's Ken while the 2000 Ken appears to be a transvestite. And Surfer ken looks confused. Or, maybe he is just watching the sunset.

    Comment by Linzalicious [Member] — 10/26/05 @ 03:32

  2. So, maybe Barbie should just ditch both and start over - unless Blaine's bedazzled look is a dreamy, post-coital glaze that is.

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 10/28/05 @ 20:51

  3. If either of Ken or Blaine had a penis I think she should date them both I mean unless one of them stands up and makes a committment. I think that they'd better watch out as black Barbie might just steal her away..especially if toyland has barbie dildos...

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/29/05 @ 19:17

  4. Maybe Mattel would be better off making dildos as well - y'know expanding their target market. The dolls work for the young girls, but us older chicks need a more mature type of entertainment.

    The Barbie Dildo line should come with accessories and have themes.

    Do you think Barbie uses a dildo? Has she got an entry point for that matter?

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 10/29/05 @ 23:04

  5. I think Barbie has not had a bone crushing dildo moment like myself as of yet.. maybe maattel should consider an entry point.. My neice has a doll that pees after she drinks her milk - it has a hole for the liquid to fall out why cant barbie have 0ne ?

    Comment by icequeen [Member] — 10/30/05 @ 17:03

  6. Barbie's pretty bloody pure, I agree. Bet she's climbing the walls - just like a few of us!

    Comment by Juji [Member] — 10/30/05 @ 22:03

  7. Nair speeder remarked gaudy swarm bustle - Tons of interesdting stuff!!!

    Comment by contesting flood insurance [Visitor] — 04/20/08 @ 11:13

  8. dswf glfwoksj qognwafi suilgxc fuowzvr ujagqfnb rvyohxtmu

    Comment by lgnrszqvm wfomvbjkt [Visitor] — 05/05/08 @ 07:12

  9. (>_

    Comment by Kaleigh [Visitor] — 06/11/08 @ 08:47

  10. (>_

    Comment by Kaila [Visitor] — 06/11/08 @ 18:05

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