KZalan's Blog

11/14/05

Around the West in 8 Days and Butt Burping?

Filed under: Posts — KZalan @ 02:28:26 pm

Butt-burping? Yeah, exactly. Keep reading to find out. So my best friend in the whole world is getting married and I feel partially responsible since introducing her to her fiancee. We decided the ultimate bachelorette party was an 8 day trip with stops along the way ending up in Oahu Hawaii where she is to be married. Three friends met in Portland where she lives and began our first night there. We then moved on to Vegas (yeah, again) for two nights then to San Diego where we met up with some other friends for one night. We decided our goal was to maintain a buzz for 8 days and cure our horrendous hangovers on the plane with yet more booze. On our last leg to Oahu, we began downing the kiddie liquor bottles and then announced to the passengers of Flight 817 that my dear friend was getting hitched. Some people slept, while others said congrats and one perverted man even got in on the party. We didn't really care, since we couldn't exactly use our better judgement after Day 2. So there we were, 3 friends who met in Orlando and a random guy starting our new Chapter of the Mile High Club. The one where you get drunk, of course.

So the highlight of this trip sadly wasn't the partying or the smuggling of booze into Turtle Bay but the Sunday afternoon conversation with the bride to be over brunch. As we oogled and ahhed over the wedding plans she said, "Everything's perfect except for his butt burping." I immediately spat out my food. "I'm sorry what?" I asked. She proceeded, "He just does this thing, it's kinda gross." Gross was an understatement for joining those two words together. She explained, "It only bothers me when he does it while I'm going down on him." Just when you think it couldn't get worse. "It's kinda like when you need to pass gas but you hold it in, and your butt makes this growling noise. Like instead of burping you hold it in your throat and it makes that noise. Well this is when you hold in your fart. You know, butt burping?!" No, I didn't know that but thanks to her, I did now. Our other friend chimed in, "You're comparing swallowing your burp to your ass swallowing a fart?!" We all laughed. The bride continued, "Anyway, it just freaks me out and sometimes, he lets a little slip out." I think she just raised the bar on true love. Apparently we were not only celebrating the joining of two people, but the joining of two words, butt burping! Check out these pics of the Turtle Bay Resort and the Wedding Room.

7 comments

Comments

I thought I was your best friend in the the whole entire world. Oh well, all is not lost. Lemons to lemonade... Ashes to ashes, dust to dust even though Major Tom's a junkie... My mama says to get things done you better not mess with Major Tom... Someone also said if you can't beat 'em. Join 'em. Congrats on whoever got married. Letting one slip through the poop chute and you don't mind is the ultimate act of love.
Comment by Space Cowboy [Visitor] — 11/15/05 @ 11:31
You put out that bullshit apology and I accepted with the hope of seeing or talking to you again... You stupid motherfucking asshole. And if you are on a website promoting that you are single why are still living with Adam Sussman you stupid cunt.
Comment by Adam Sussman 323-436-0669 [Visitor] — 12/09/05 @ 23:29
If you don't want someone to come by or give you a phone call then don't give out your address and phone number to them you fucking dumbshit.
Comment by Adam Sussman 323-436-0669 [Visitor] — 12/09/05 @ 23:37
Why would I accept an apology from an admitted motherfucking liar? And if I call again you tell that JewBoy to give you the phone you dumb cunt.
Comment by Adam Sussman 323-436-0669 [Visitor] — 12/10/05 @ 09:46
You've got no character to deface you stupid cunt. And this is just the beginning of the crap you deserve you dumb motherfucker. You apology for a mistake, ASSHOLE. Not something you did intentionally you gook fuck-face shithead.
Comment by Adam Sussman 323-436-0669 [Visitor] — 12/11/05 @ 10:44
Yea, I'm constantly knocking on your door at 9am. You forgot to mention that Parker was barking his little heart out and the "little faggot" Adam Sussman who lives there with you would not answer the door. I wonder why? Because the little Jew Pussy saw a big Nigger on the other side through the peep hole?... I think that's why. You fuck-face stupid cunt.
Comment by Adam Sussman 323-436-0669 [Visitor] — 12/11/05 @ 11:14
My boyfriend spends too much time on websites like this. I hate all those sources! They must be abandoned!
Comment by Casey Fulton [Visitor] — 04/06/08 @ 13:11

11/14/05

Around the West in 8 Days and Butt Burping?

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